Yes, my husband uses it as a way to escape. We've had many fights about it from even before the depression hit. He is constantly on it.

We as well have discussions about it, sometimes heated. It's frustrating because there is more to life then technology. Being present is important. While most of what he follows is sports, he also has these online conversations with many females from his hometown childhood or twenties. UGH!!

Serendipity - forgive me, but it seems like the chats with the other women are the issue, but not necessarily the phone itself. I would be VERY concerned if I saw that behavior, too. I would personally consider that highly inappropriate and something he should stop right away. That's a precursor to an "emotional affair" with someone. Sorry to be dark, but that's what comes to mind when I read your post.

I see my spouse on his phone a lot sometimes, too, and I know he's desperately trying to feel a little better, even if it's only for a second. A funny meme, a creative costume, cute animals, texts from friends - anything. I find myself resorting to my phone at times, too, searching for something to fill the void. I think it's one of the hardest things, making room for someone else to be depressed. One thing that happens sometimes is that as a family, we want to be together, but I ask permission if it's ok that I'm with everyone but on my phone. That works most times, as it gives my son and husband that I'm having a difficult moment but I still want to be with them. Oddly, my husband is the one that has depression and anxiety, but I find that I need some space around my own down times, too.

Yes, definitely. My mom actually sent me an article some time ago about people escaping on their screens and that being a sign of depression. My husband has done this for a long time - before the really bad depression hit - and it's always been an annoyance for me. I feel it is important to put down the damn phone sometimes and just be where you are at and with who you are with, rather than focused elsewhere all the time. I find it rude and damaging to relationships as well as to oneself, but I know it is a way to escape unpleasant or downright intolerable feelings. My husband has never acknowledged it as a problem and gets defensive. I largely let it go, not seeing it as a battle I'm going to win.