Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
Normally we talk about everything! We know everything that is going on with each other. He keeps things secret when he is like this... He won't tell me stuff. He asks me if today I can put some gas in his car. My answer "of course honey. Did you wanna go somewhere?" him: "yeah I have stuff to take care of" me: "like what babe?" him: "just stuff." me: "what stuff honey we can do it together" him: "no it's my business" ok... So he knows no one in the area never had a job here, there's no "business" he has here. He probably in all honesty wants to sell video games to get cash to buy more stuff for his games. Whatever... But tell me! If I withheld information like that he would go ballistic!!! I'm trying to be calm with him about it but I'm not. I'm angry... It's obviously my business enough for me to have to put gas in your car. Just talk to me! It's so rude!!!! He recently admitted to me that when he picks fights its because he wants to put others in the same bad place that he is. He feels it's unfair for him to be depressed and others to be just fine so he wants to make them miserable too. I think that's subconsciously what he is doing with me on this too.
Ugh....
Ugh....
Working.. It says "i wish I were better at this for you. It's like there is a pendulum in my head stuck to one side and I'm trying to get the momentum to push it over to the other side but I can't.". And it went on much longer than that. But I thought that description was great, it's almost like I feel like I already knew that was where he was. But I never realized that he consciously could think and process what was going on at these times.
It was so nice to know that he thinks about it and can process what's going on.