Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
OOPS! So I came back to see what was going on in discussions... and then I realized this place is like al anon... as opposed to alcoholics anonymous... yall are the supporters and we\'re the supportees... maybe that\'s part of the problem... you don\'t realize that we need to work on being our own support... and I would so much appreciate it if yall could see that many of us are quite capable of doing that... When I think of all the years that I have had to deal with people acting like my thoughts and feelings on the issue are tainted because I\'m like \"crazy\"... maybe you\'d like to get some opinions from some of the \"nuts\" that are running out their giving speeches and seminars to educate the world that a mental health Dx does not mean that a person is stupid, totally helpless etc...
Again the haves and the have nots... You have your mind... I do not have a mind... You know that\'s not true...
Lady get out of here... go to the depression/bipolar or whatever place...
There is no one more qualified to stand up for me than me... I live it... If you want to help your loved one - listen to them... sure there are times they are not rational... but the rational times far outweigh the irrational...
The greatest thing I\'ve ever done for myself, and hey I chose to do this... no one forced me... was to get information on mental health theories, therapies, etc etc etc...
I\'m not angry about my discovery that this place was not meant for me... From over 500 communities I can find many places that are... but... I will be disappointed in you if you don\'t or can\'t realize... your greatest resource in healing us \"crazies\" - is us crazies... oh by the way... I don\'t think there is any \"healing\" We just learn to cope better... and I personally don\'t think that there aren\'t times in everyone\'s life that they don\'t have trouble coping... Its part of the human condition.
Again the haves and the have nots... You have your mind... I do not have a mind... You know that\'s not true...
Lady get out of here... go to the depression/bipolar or whatever place...
There is no one more qualified to stand up for me than me... I live it... If you want to help your loved one - listen to them... sure there are times they are not rational... but the rational times far outweigh the irrational...
The greatest thing I\'ve ever done for myself, and hey I chose to do this... no one forced me... was to get information on mental health theories, therapies, etc etc etc...
I\'m not angry about my discovery that this place was not meant for me... From over 500 communities I can find many places that are... but... I will be disappointed in you if you don\'t or can\'t realize... your greatest resource in healing us \"crazies\" - is us crazies... oh by the way... I don\'t think there is any \"healing\" We just learn to cope better... and I personally don\'t think that there aren\'t times in everyone\'s life that they don\'t have trouble coping... Its part of the human condition.
I just read (and re-read) your post to make sure I understood it, and please if you think that I am misinterpreting it, let me know.
From what I can understand, your post describes your realization that this is a \"SUPPORTERS OF those with depression\" group, instead of a \"SUPPORT FOR people with depression group\". I\'m sorry if there was any confusion. As you rightly note, there are several groups that might serve you better - as a person dealing with depression directly - than this one.
However, I feel that it\'s important to clarify that not everyone who is a \"supporter\" is as naive or ignorant about depression as your post might suggest. Just because we are not the partner (or loved one) diagnosed with it, that doesn\'t mean that we don\'t listen to the partner that is.
It doesn\'t mean that we don\'t realize that *only* the way out and through depression is to help the depressed partner rebuild their self-esteem, self-worth, and positive thought patterns - and that the only person who can really do that is the depressed person themselves.
It doesn\'t mean that we perceive our loved one\'s comments, actions, and thoughts as tainted.
And most certainly, it doesn\'t mean that we believe our loved ones are stupid and helpless.
Speaking for myself, it\'s quite the contrary. I believe that my husband is one of the strongest, smartest, bravest, most compassionate, considerate, and loving people I\'ve ever met. He faces his depression every day, with some days being more challenging than others. He busts his butt every single morning and every single night to work on his mind, to work on setting it right and to get the wheels turning forward and in a positive direction. Some days, he\'s more successful than others. But without a doubt, I know he\'s working his way through it, and I applaud, recognize, and thank him for his efforts every single day.
But as I\'m sure you know, that doesn\'t mean that every day is a cakewalk for him... and those are also the days that it\'s difficult for me. And for others like me. When the depression takes hold of my husband, the world doesn\'t stop for him - and because I love him, and he\'s my partner, and we are a team, that means I pick up the slack. I try hard to remind him of all the positive things he can concentrate on, both in him and in his environment. I try hard to minimize the stress around him and give him time to relax and unwind by shouldering most of the household work. And I try hard to not take it personally or become resentful when he doesn\'t seem to have the capability to help me deal with any of my issues or stressors or problems - because he\'s barely managing to cope with his own.
So that\'s why we formed this group, if I might speak for some of the others. It\'s not because we needed a place to compare \"crazies\" and \"nuts\" that we know, and talk about ways to \"fix\" them. It\'s because we care about our loved ones, and we wanted to reach out to others who might be in a similar situation, to get some advice and companionship, and perhaps even a little support of our own, particuarly when our partners are unable to provide it. Lastly, I agree with you completely on this point: coping is something that we *all* have trouble with - and that\'s why we\'re all here. So I thank you for your perspective, and just as you ask us to recognize and respect your ideas and opinions, I ask you to respect those of this community, and not assume that we - as mere supporters - are so completely unaware of what your daily struggles are like. Best wishes to you for a happy and healthy 2007.
Sometimes I\'m angry at the world right now and I confess it freely... My disappointment came when I read the description of who the community was for... I still believe those of us who are managing to function are quite capable of being supporters of other people who suffer from depression... and of people who are supporting people who suffer from depression... and we\'re not included in the description of who this community is for... that\'s ok
So lighthouse I\'m going to follow through on your encouraging suggestion. You only agreed with what I had suggested first. I found your letter to be as full of pain and anger as my own. Hopefully you\'ll find a way to handle it. I know you\'re dealing with a lot and I am truly sorry for you.