He fidgets a lot and jerks around, he also mumbles and talks to himself a lot but I can't understand him usually when he does. To be honest when he does this I will pull him out of his "trance" and try to get his attention. But honestly... I feel like he does this totally consciously to get attention. I feel terrible if that's not the case but that how he acts

Hi Brownie.....We just came back from 24 hrs in maine with my daughter & family for TDay.....We left early because my guy was in the kitchen cleaning up and starting to make these really wacked out sounds...I knew, then that we couldn't stay over another night...he hates the holidays and my family are big Xmas freaks...they were starting to decorate for Xmas this AM and I didn't know what would happen if we stayed....crummy....I really wanted to be with them...this is what I mean, though....where does it all end for us????? He drove 2 hours to get home, I didn't say a word, and then he went straight to bed at 3 in the afternoon....it's worse than being married....I'm not married and I feel so flippin' trapped

yes my partner whines, and breathes like sighing, and sometimes cries out - especially in his sleep. sometimes i think its for attention, like i'm supposed to ask "what's wrong honey" but i don't, and he still does it.
SMdruid - you just have to make it work for you - find your things! make time out to take care of your own needs, just as if you were alone. i love getting pedicures, or riding my horse, just for me, and i find i'm better able to listen, and nod at the right places for him, because i'm OK with me, inside.

Thanks Redloui.....I do wonder if it's for attention or somekind of delayed grieving....I don't know....and I am beginning to act like I live alone....he's a physically healthy guy at 68 but when you've had him as a wonderful friend, lover, etc....and then it just stops...well....what are you supposed to do? Stop, too....I think that there are limits on everything including waiting...I get depression because I've been there as well as PTSD...This is starting to affect me in a negative way....had years of really good therapy and now I feel as though I am unraveling....need to rethink this whole relationship I think...only been 18mos.

I can't imagine the pain and sadness you must have felt leaving their house.
We talk often of moving far away... Meaning I would have to travel to see my family not drive 5 minutes. I know he won't travel with me and if he did it would be just like you say... We'd have to leave for certain situations or strange acting out etc...
I always think mine makes weird noises for attention!!! Nothing else adds up. It only makes sense that he wants attention and tries to get it in this way.

It really was lousy leaving my daughter's home early....it was a 2 hr ride back home and I didn't say a word...I actually didn't want to nor did I even know what to talk about....we used to talk non stop...when we pulled in the drive way..he asked if I wanted his suitcase to go in the house or to get his belongings and leave....WHAT....it bother him so much that I was quiet....I guess acting like they do doesn't work, right....today we had company and he was himself....he cooked the whole turkey dinner and cleaned right beside me...himself....appeared....what a crummy roller coaster ride this is...

It is a crummy roller coaster ride!
I am so glad he was back to normal today!!! That is wonderful!! :) let's hope this lasts awhile. I always need this time to recharge