Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
Hi, I’ll start off by saying I’m new to support groups but I had no where else to turn. My fiancé of three years has recently been depressed. He goes in and out. One minute he seems happy and the next he wants nothing more than to be alone. How do I stop the feelings of it being my fault? I know I can’t control it but I can’t help but feel like I’ve done something to make the situation worse. How can I help him and help myself at the same time?
I am in the same place as you.
You feel so helpless, like you're not good enough or important enough to make him "snap out of it" or that you're part of the problem but the truth is, he could love you with every fibre of his being but that still wouldn't be enough to bring him out of it. Love can cure most things but depression I do not believe is one of them.
To help yourself you simply just have to accept that nothing is personal, as long as you're bring supportive, there's not much else you can do. I am sorry to tell you that you alone are not going to be able to fix him. He needs to help himself first.
I know all of this and yet it doesn't make anything easier.
People understand people dealing with depression, but the partners of these people that it also effects i think are severely forgotten about. These support groups are great to remind ourselves that we are not alone. X