Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
Need to vent...My fianc decided on a really stressful week it would be a good idea to lower his medicine. Well he moved too fast with it and hasn't been able to calm himself down all week. It's only Wednesday and I'm so physically and mentally exhausted I have no idea how I'm going to make it until Friday. When he gets this bad he leaves everything around the apartment, doesn't clean, doesn't do laundry, nothing. Well what usually helps is when I clean for him. That gets my stress out and it makes him feel good. However, I just had wrist surgery and can't use my dominant hand! He was suppose to take over everything. Doesn't look like that's ever going to be possible. He doesn't realize how much I really do around the house. This past week has just been constant consoling and calming him down. However, everything I do to calm myself down, I can't because of my stupid wrist. I can't draw, clean, run, paint. Nothing
The stress is so overwhelming, sometimes I don't know how I keep so calm around him to make sure my stress doesn't push him further into depression. It's just too much sometimes and no one around me knows how much I have on my shoulders right now. I wish I could just explain to people why I'm tired and unresponsive sometimes. Or why when my fianc is texting me during a break down why I'm not participating in their conversation while they're complaining of tiny matters. Im a really kind person but when I'm this drained I want to snap at them and say they have no idea. Ugh. I just want to help him feel better. I don't know what to do when I can only use one hand.
The stress is so overwhelming, sometimes I don't know how I keep so calm around him to make sure my stress doesn't push him further into depression. It's just too much sometimes and no one around me knows how much I have on my shoulders right now. I wish I could just explain to people why I'm tired and unresponsive sometimes. Or why when my fianc is texting me during a break down why I'm not participating in their conversation while they're complaining of tiny matters. Im a really kind person but when I'm this drained I want to snap at them and say they have no idea. Ugh. I just want to help him feel better. I don't know what to do when I can only use one hand.
I do see your post was written a while back. I just joined. I have several family member with depression and can relate to what you are saying.
You can explain to people why you are so tired. My wife and I have never hidden her depression and we make sure our family and friends understand the impact it has on us. It can be hard, so many people just don't understand, but it's important to educate them. We all need support and that means friends and family understanding and listening to us.
Sometimes you just have to accept that you might live in a mess for a little while. Even without surgery, I'm sure there's been times when you are just too emotionally and physically exhausted to pick up the slack. That's ok. We can forgive ourselves for not being superheroes 24/7.
If you have not already, get him back on his prescribed dose.