Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
I haven't been on here in awhile...and that's a good thing! (Means that my stress level has been low and things have been going well!) My BF has had many good days lately. He's been fighting through the negative emotions that once overpowered him. I always tell him how proud I am and that I can see how hard he is working at staying out of a bad mood. However, there are times that it is all too much for him still. And right now is one of those times...
It's funny how you see it time and time again but once his depression is managed for awhile I tend to repress the bad times and only focus on the good. I let my guard down and picture only good times ahead. And then when it overtakes him again and he turns into someone who can't concentrate, is extremely anxious and depressed, and it all hits me right in the face when I'm least expecting it.
I knew this week was going to be tough for him. It's finals week and school stresses him out like crazy! However, we got through Mon, Tues, and half of Wed without a meltdown! I was extremely impressed! He kept telling me that this last project he has to do is stressing him out. So, I sat down the help him. We were having fun looking up information and getting really far into the project when something just clicked. I don't know how to explain it but all of a sudden he just turned anxious, depressed, and couldn't concentrate on the project anymore. It was really weird. I've never seen him switch so suddenly before. He couldn't work on it anymore and when he tried, I could tell he wasn't even really comprehending anything. I just had him go to bed and told him we'd wake up in the morning early to finish it.
I don't know what the trigger was that set him off or how to avoid it in the future. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Of course this always comes at a time when I have a lot on my plate as well. I have an extremely important interview tomorrow which I haven't prepared for because I was taking care of him all night and I have two finals next week to study for. UGH!
I love that I can vent to people that understand my situation. Sometimes I just get so lonely in all this stress and I'm so glad I have people to turn to.
~mlb
It's funny how you see it time and time again but once his depression is managed for awhile I tend to repress the bad times and only focus on the good. I let my guard down and picture only good times ahead. And then when it overtakes him again and he turns into someone who can't concentrate, is extremely anxious and depressed, and it all hits me right in the face when I'm least expecting it.
I knew this week was going to be tough for him. It's finals week and school stresses him out like crazy! However, we got through Mon, Tues, and half of Wed without a meltdown! I was extremely impressed! He kept telling me that this last project he has to do is stressing him out. So, I sat down the help him. We were having fun looking up information and getting really far into the project when something just clicked. I don't know how to explain it but all of a sudden he just turned anxious, depressed, and couldn't concentrate on the project anymore. It was really weird. I've never seen him switch so suddenly before. He couldn't work on it anymore and when he tried, I could tell he wasn't even really comprehending anything. I just had him go to bed and told him we'd wake up in the morning early to finish it.
I don't know what the trigger was that set him off or how to avoid it in the future. Does anyone have any suggestions?
Of course this always comes at a time when I have a lot on my plate as well. I have an extremely important interview tomorrow which I haven't prepared for because I was taking care of him all night and I have two finals next week to study for. UGH!
I love that I can vent to people that understand my situation. Sometimes I just get so lonely in all this stress and I'm so glad I have people to turn to.
~mlb
I know what you mean when it catches you off guard.
I hope that finals are coming to an end and you and him are doing better.
Just know we are here for you :)
Hugs!!!
I love this quote and think it applies here:
"Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional." - Buddhist saying
Everyone suffers painful times, but some have much less suffering than others. Suffering often seems to be created when there is a difference between what we want and what really is. For instance, you begin to envision a happy future free of depression when he feels well. Then, when that doesn't happen, there is a gap between what you want and what you have and that creates suffering.
When this happens on the "other" side, it creates anxiety. When we invest negative emotional energy into the future (I am sure this airplane is going to crash), we create a gap between what we think and what is and cause anxiety.
My suggestion is to try and be in the present moment all the time. I try very hard not to invest too much emotionally into the past or future and be present with what is. Enjoy the good times without projecting them forward and tolerate the hard times.
Also, in terms of the "switch" in him, I would suggest maybe thinking of it by levels. Lets say his "switch" is at level 75. As you add more contributing factors - i.e. stress, being tired, being hungry, other emotional triggers, etc. - his level creeps up. When it hits 75, everything goes "haywire" and he switches off. That's how it feels for me, anyway, when it happens to me. I think we all have our switch level.
and, if none of this has helped, at least know you are not alone and I hope things get better for you soon!