Depression Supporters Support Group

This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.

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Mental Health
/ Depression Supporters Support Group

In a relationship with someone that has Depression

rainBowsLoveMe
rainBowsLoveMe
Well my bf of a 1yr. & 6 months has clinical depression and I was just wondering if you could give me any advice on how to help him handle it? I mean make him feel better when he's down and such when he's having an episode. He's on medication, but pills aren't always the best cure for everything you know?
mgs1
mgs1
I don't have any advice on how you can help him. But, I do have some advice for you on how to NOT be a victim of secondary depression.
The stress associated with living with someone with depression can be very wearing and ultimately lead to situational depression.
Let him manage his own depression, you need to take care of yourself.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have had Clinical Depression, OCD, and an Anxiety Disoder for over 37 years. In my opinion from my own experiences with people who wanted to help me feel better; there was nothing that they could say or do to help me. One suggestion is give him permission to tell you whatever he is depressed about. Depression means depressing your feelings and not letting them out. Finally, be a good listener. When he opens up to you just listen, do not interupt. Let these feelings come out regardless of how silly or serious it may be. Do not judge or say something like: get over it.:" The depression is very real to him and most people do not understand. I label my Depression as an Illness just like someone who has cancer. My neurons in my brain do not connect to the nerve endings as they should. This is a medical condition. So treat him as though he has a very bad medical condition that causes Depression, OCD, Bipolar, etc.

Roger the Minister
deleted_user
deleted_user
I tell u what helped me with my depression, is coming to this site and finding out that they were people just like me here. Reading what others had to say may me feel like I wasn't alone and somebody understood me. Maybe u can mention this site to him. It has helped me so much......
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am knew to this as well as dealing with someone very close to me with depression. I surly dont have any idea, I am here to learn.But reading what mgs1 just wrote hit me right between the eyes.Never heard of victim of secondary depression & situational depression.I would appreciate it if you can give me some heads up on that mgs1. thanks cece
mgs1
mgs1
secondary depression may result as a secondary issue resulting from you becoming overwhelmed and stressed and hyper-vigilence about someone else's mental condition. It is very much like caregiver burnout... It begins to wear you down. But the moment you are no longer burdened with that issue, or find a way to have it NOT effect you, your depression lifts.
Situational depression is caused by various situations you find yourself in. Like being a caregiver to someone who is ill, or perhaps taking a test. You become depressed over the situation you find yourself in. Once the situation no longer exists, you are fine.