Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
People often consider their love of their life their partner. Someone to pick up the slack. Someone to help out.
Being single you are so reliant on you and only you... That's it. No one is there to wait for the electrician, no one is there to check the mail, you're on your own.
When our depressed partners are "normal" for themselves this is hard for them to pick up slack... But down in their funk!? Forget it!!
Lately we've had a lot going on... Dead car, his extreme depression, trying to get moved in officially.
I'm the only one who works, he stays home all day and is too scared to get a job. So... When he is okay, when he's not so depressed... He keeps it clean, does things to make our life easier, helps. That is less than 50% of the time though. When he's down it's all on me... He does nothing. So I try to put in my head- it's like I'm single. But it's so much harder!!!!
Single me doesn't come home to a dirty kitchen of dishes I didnt use while I was at work all day. Single me calls friends over to help move items into my new home. Single me makes a decision that suits my situation best without the anger and fury o someone else!
The dead car is what's thrown me over the edge! I moved us into the apartment pretty much single handedly... I was/am so tired!!! He would not step out to help! So..: I did it. I thought of calling people, he aske me to call people... How can I call people to help when he's sitting on an air mattress and angry for 5 straight days?! Fine- ill do it all! One of I was literally dragging furniture downstairs and across things while trying to keep the old blanket under it so as not to ruin it! Single me would have had a moving party and it would have been fun and easy!
Our new apartment is so much more money- I can't maintain this- if he doesn't start working I don't know what to do. Single me says- cut cable, and move closer to work in a cheaper apartment and save money for a house. Me in this relationship says - when the lease is up I have to reevaluate and I have to ensure he knows and he's ready to move to Fe town he doesn't want to live in and understand we can stay if he's bringing in money. It's a huge preparation process.
And the straw that has broken my back- the car. It's expensive to fix it- it's mine not his. He thinks I shouldn't fix it it's not worth it- I get that honestly...it is a lot to spend on an older car. But he has no answers! I can't get a new car or even used! Getting a used car that'll cost what it costs to fix mine is crazy because at least I know mines been taken care of. He is there halfway only... That's it. He is there to complain and tell me everything I'm doing wrong lately but never there to help me or come up with a solution.
If I were single I'd fix my car and then start looking at getting a newer one and selling mine. If I were single I wouldn't be in this expensive apartment. I love him, hes so sweet at times! But he just doesn't think things through- I wish he were there to pick up the slack!
Being single you are so reliant on you and only you... That's it. No one is there to wait for the electrician, no one is there to check the mail, you're on your own.
When our depressed partners are "normal" for themselves this is hard for them to pick up slack... But down in their funk!? Forget it!!
Lately we've had a lot going on... Dead car, his extreme depression, trying to get moved in officially.
I'm the only one who works, he stays home all day and is too scared to get a job. So... When he is okay, when he's not so depressed... He keeps it clean, does things to make our life easier, helps. That is less than 50% of the time though. When he's down it's all on me... He does nothing. So I try to put in my head- it's like I'm single. But it's so much harder!!!!
Single me doesn't come home to a dirty kitchen of dishes I didnt use while I was at work all day. Single me calls friends over to help move items into my new home. Single me makes a decision that suits my situation best without the anger and fury o someone else!
The dead car is what's thrown me over the edge! I moved us into the apartment pretty much single handedly... I was/am so tired!!! He would not step out to help! So..: I did it. I thought of calling people, he aske me to call people... How can I call people to help when he's sitting on an air mattress and angry for 5 straight days?! Fine- ill do it all! One of I was literally dragging furniture downstairs and across things while trying to keep the old blanket under it so as not to ruin it! Single me would have had a moving party and it would have been fun and easy!
Our new apartment is so much more money- I can't maintain this- if he doesn't start working I don't know what to do. Single me says- cut cable, and move closer to work in a cheaper apartment and save money for a house. Me in this relationship says - when the lease is up I have to reevaluate and I have to ensure he knows and he's ready to move to Fe town he doesn't want to live in and understand we can stay if he's bringing in money. It's a huge preparation process.
And the straw that has broken my back- the car. It's expensive to fix it- it's mine not his. He thinks I shouldn't fix it it's not worth it- I get that honestly...it is a lot to spend on an older car. But he has no answers! I can't get a new car or even used! Getting a used car that'll cost what it costs to fix mine is crazy because at least I know mines been taken care of. He is there halfway only... That's it. He is there to complain and tell me everything I'm doing wrong lately but never there to help me or come up with a solution.
If I were single I'd fix my car and then start looking at getting a newer one and selling mine. If I were single I wouldn't be in this expensive apartment. I love him, hes so sweet at times! But he just doesn't think things through- I wish he were there to pick up the slack!
Is there a reason you can't take care of your car like single you would? If he's not going to contribute in any way, why can't you do it how you want to? Easier said than done I'm sure but something to think about.
Just hang in there brownie, I know it's tough but were all here for you.