Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
this is my first post. my husband of 7 years is battling chronic pain and major depression which is coloring everything in our lives. Over the past two years he has been turning to alcohol more and more. When he is intoxicated he becomes rageful and bitterly angry and says terrible things. He recently did this in front of my daughter (his stepdaughter) who is 16, and it was so bad that she and I had to leave the premises of our home. This was the first time his behavior was so extreme in front of one of my children, but NOT the first time I had to leave my house and check into a hotel because of his drunken rage.
As a result of that episode, I asked him to move out of the house. He was devastated, of course, and begged me to let him stay. I felt like I had to stick with my decision, though, because my two daughters look up to me and I would never ever want them to put up with this kind of behavior in a relationship. Plus, he is not their father, why should they have to put up with his drunk rageful behavior? He has now damaged his relationship with them, and they want nothing to do with him any more. The relationship between my husband and my daughters has always been precarious because he invests very little time or effort in nurturing that relationship, because of his problems with his back pain, which always take precedence over everything else. I feel like since he damaged the relationship with my daughters, he should have to live with the consequences, not me. I do not want to live in a war zone, being pulled between him and my daughters. Plus, they are good girls and should not have to live in a home where they feel no peace. I hope they forgive him for his actions that evening, but this has not happened yet.
My husband blames everything on his back pain and depression, but for years I have been begging him to get help. Only now, since I made him leave, has he started seeing a psychologist. His back pain continues but he won't get a second opinion, won't take any meds, and won't even use a heating pad, for goodness sake.
I am sad and lonely because the man I married is not the man in front of me today. I am sticking by him...I helped him move into an apartment and we see each other often and talk daily. I feel horrible for him, and it kills me to see him battling pain. I know he is lonely and sad, and I feel terribly guilty. I just don't know if there were any other options, given what happened.
I have no intention of leaving him but I look at life stretching before me with sadness because his depression has been unrelenting, ever since we married. Whether it's the back pain, or a crisis on the job, or fear that he is coming down with some kind of disease, or regrets about his past.....he is always, ALWAYS, in despair about something. We have had very few happy stretches.
It helps to write this, and send it into the cosmos, even if no one replies. I guess I am looking for encouragement and advice, and thoughts on if there is anything else I could have done, given the situation with him and my daughters. They are ages 13 and 16.
As a result of that episode, I asked him to move out of the house. He was devastated, of course, and begged me to let him stay. I felt like I had to stick with my decision, though, because my two daughters look up to me and I would never ever want them to put up with this kind of behavior in a relationship. Plus, he is not their father, why should they have to put up with his drunk rageful behavior? He has now damaged his relationship with them, and they want nothing to do with him any more. The relationship between my husband and my daughters has always been precarious because he invests very little time or effort in nurturing that relationship, because of his problems with his back pain, which always take precedence over everything else. I feel like since he damaged the relationship with my daughters, he should have to live with the consequences, not me. I do not want to live in a war zone, being pulled between him and my daughters. Plus, they are good girls and should not have to live in a home where they feel no peace. I hope they forgive him for his actions that evening, but this has not happened yet.
My husband blames everything on his back pain and depression, but for years I have been begging him to get help. Only now, since I made him leave, has he started seeing a psychologist. His back pain continues but he won't get a second opinion, won't take any meds, and won't even use a heating pad, for goodness sake.
I am sad and lonely because the man I married is not the man in front of me today. I am sticking by him...I helped him move into an apartment and we see each other often and talk daily. I feel horrible for him, and it kills me to see him battling pain. I know he is lonely and sad, and I feel terribly guilty. I just don't know if there were any other options, given what happened.
I have no intention of leaving him but I look at life stretching before me with sadness because his depression has been unrelenting, ever since we married. Whether it's the back pain, or a crisis on the job, or fear that he is coming down with some kind of disease, or regrets about his past.....he is always, ALWAYS, in despair about something. We have had very few happy stretches.
It helps to write this, and send it into the cosmos, even if no one replies. I guess I am looking for encouragement and advice, and thoughts on if there is anything else I could have done, given the situation with him and my daughters. They are ages 13 and 16.
Depression is lonely and rough road for both the depressed partner and us trying to support them while they battle it.
Praying for your inner peace - stay strong.