Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
My boyfriend... ex boyfriend as of a few days ago.. has depression/is bipolar. Id been friends with him for two years and started dating him a year ago. It was great for a month until depression hit him and he just had no interest in me anymore... it took me by such surprise and didnt understand what was going on so i broke up with him but said i was always there for him if he needed me. The next day i heard from him and we talked and hungout for months as friends before getting back together. We really shouldnt have as he wasnt in a good place and rarely showed affection. On good days he was his incredible old self! Affectionate, loving, sensitive and considerate.
The other day he told me he couldnt do this to me anymore. I was too good for him and it wasnt fair to drag me down. I asked him if he wanted me and he said “ i dont know. Sometimes it feels like i really want you and other times i feel nothing at all.”
the thing i struggle with is he goes back and forth with feeling this way and i wonder if that is something that happens with depression. Can it make them question if they do feel anything towards their partner? Is that common? Maybe he truly just doesnt think we fit together..
He spent 2 years cultivating a friendship with me and months trying to get me to agree to date him... and a month into our relationship (first breakup) he said he felt nothing towards me... not just me but anything at all.
Depression can make someone question their feelings about someone else. It's the nature of the illness: negative thoughts, shame, guilt, etc.
I'dd support that he's pushing you away because of his depression. That kind of guilt is pretty normal from what I've seen for depression and other people with an affliction.
It could be that his medication is striping him of emotion? My girlfriend was on some that just made her feel numb.
He told me once that he cant feel anything most of the time, except anger. He says he has a hard time controlling it but almost welcomes it because at least he feels something.