Depression Supporters Support Group

This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.

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How to find hope?

Sofi
Sofi

Hi, I am a 35yo girl in a relationship with severely depressed partner for almost 7ys. He is on meds for about 5ys now, they only help a little and he needs more and more of them. He never wanted help, but I asked and asked, bagged from time to time and he started seeing psychiatrist and then after a while a psychologist. But psychiatrist will not change the meds, even though I say they don't work to much, because when he goes for an appointment he is always cheer and "not depressed" which (what is awful to say, I know) doesn't help of course. And he had such a bad luck with psychologists that I seriously am not surprised he doesn't want to try again - the last one almost ruined our relationship telling him things she as a therapeut should never had. We are strong together, but I am struggling to find hope lately, so many years of trying to get better and I (!) lose hope, so how am I supposed to expect him to find it? I fight of course for both of us, I lie to people around us which is hard, we have no friends around who know, because we now live abroad in a country with different language that we learn not so fast as in early twenties. He has suicidal thoughts but talks about them, so that makes me a little bit more calm. There is many many things I could write about him / us, but the thing is I do think I am strong enough to cope with him and all of he brings to the table if only I could see the future in bright colours, at least a little bit... Tell me, how do you find hope in your life?

Sofi
Sofi
And one more thing: how do you explain depressed person, that next meds may help or next psychologist may be right and help as well?
superhero24
superhero24
I think you can just try and give him some hope... But I understand it's really hard and he might just feel hopeless. You should try hard to find a therapist he gets along with, I've had experience with one as well that I just felt didn't understand me. But when I was younger I spoke to someone who really helped and I felt better. It's important to find one you like and just like with any people, you just don't like everyone. And I'm optimistic about the fact that there probably is a medication out there that would suit him. There are so many different ones out there and it can take a while to find the right meds. And maybe you should talk to someone too? Because these illnesses also affect the people closest to the depressed person.
Losthurtingspouse
Losthurtingspouse
My husband and I are in the beginning stages of this and I don't know if I can make it. Hope is not there for me at the momen but I seem to be having different issues than others. My husband got depressed and starting having an affair via text....though this is the first month so I have no idea what to do or expect other than we are alreat changing his meds cause he was having some serious thoughts....and he goes to his therapist tomorrow. I have no idea of what to do or how to act or how to have hope...the things he has said. The thing he said to the other woman...idk. so I understand the lack of hope. I'm sorry.
NJ400
NJ400
There is no hope. We get in trouble with our depressed spouses when we see and act on that glimmer of hope. Depression let the host return just enough to get you back.