We have been teedering the bad lie for such a long time now. There are bad days here and there but we haven't had it BAD since before Valentine's. Well... It's here.
I have been catering and busting my butt all week to help him not fall there and it just didn't work. I feel so badly for him, he's miserable. And I'm falling into miserable territory too... :(
I was hoping getting him out of the house tonight would help. I was laughing and being playful at the store- he snapped. He's angry. With my whistling? I don't know. I apologized up and down. He won't talk, he won't come to bed, he won't hardly answer me except to reply my "I love yous" with a mumbled "love you too.".
Ugh... I know he's down and maybe it's my own paranoia and this is how I feel everytime he does this silent don't want to talk thing- I feel he's not loving me. I feel I'm angering him. The thing is I know that's completely and totally self centered and that makes it worse. If it were that simple that he hates me he'd leave. He loves me I know- but I hate having him shut down. I want to help and I truly do believe at these times I make it worse. I wish we could talk- I wish we could cuddle and sleep hugging each other tonight. I miss him so much!! It's been since the return of our vacation that he's been sinking- but today he fully submerged. I'm desperately trying to pull him out but I think I just need to back off and give him space. Hopefully he can pull himself out and if he reaches out I'll be there instantaneously.
I love him and I will fight for him to come back to me!!! Oh please let me make the best decisions for us so we can be happy!!! Please