I've noticed with my husband, and also with everything I'm reading that it's very common for the depressed person to place blame on everyone else because in their mind, it's not their fault and they can't control the way they feel so it's so much easier to place the blame on others to justify their actions. For the spouse (us) this is a VERY painful thing to accept. I'm new here so I'm not sure if you mentioned it before, but where is he in this? Has he recognized his depression and saught treatment? Are you in any counseling to help you through this? When I was in counseling I found It very helpful because living with a depressed spouse can often make you feel like YOU are going nuts and that you're the problem, but talking to an outside source helped me realize that my feelings and thoughts were valid and real, and that made it easier to approach my husband about things.

Also, as far as if he really means what he says or not, it's really hard to say. Each person is different but he could very well be in extreme denial too. I learned with mine that each time I would suggest counseling, anger management, medication... Etc, I knew I could always expect a fight from him rather he agreed with what I was saying or not. Then sometimes weeks or even months later he was tell me I was right and he needs help. I would imagine with most people who are depressed that they never give in easy, especially men because they view it as a weakness. So as hard as I know it is to do, some of what he says when he's outraged or in denial, has to be taken with a grain of salt because it's probably just the illness talking.
As far as what you saying had an impact on rather or not you two will last, it may be too soon to tell. Something else I've learned is that I can only do so much. I can be supportive and fight for him and for him to get help, but they have to realize there is a problem and make an effort too.