Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
This period of time we have been in (awful scary depression of his for two months now) is finally starting to show signs of light. We had a good couple hours on Valentines. He was sweet and made dinner. And each day since then has had a couple of hours of good interspersed with anywhere from 20-23.5 hours of very difficult times. This sounds rough and you all go through this buy you know what I mean right? Before these past 5 days or so it was literally maybe an hour a week of good times.
He mentioned looking for a counselor to talk to again (THANK GOODNESS!). But has not looked... Today was going to be the day.
I'm not putting it past him... I think he will at least still look but I am hoping we are truly coming out of this two month awful time. I feel comforted by hopes and glimmers I've seen.
Food has been his biggest comfort through this time... Mine too. Together we have been dieting and getting healthy over the past few years. We have lost a bunch of weight and really turned our health around. We am have been on a bad path over the past two months... Gaining and not exercising. But it's the happiest time we have when we both eat yummy food and cuddle!
The comfort is great but the overall results are upsetting so I keep wondering what to do. I feel I should help him be strong and me too... Buti am so happy with the comfort in the moment.
I'm just blabbing and talking about life... Things are fine over here. Just interesting things I notice over time :)
He mentioned looking for a counselor to talk to again (THANK GOODNESS!). But has not looked... Today was going to be the day.
I'm not putting it past him... I think he will at least still look but I am hoping we are truly coming out of this two month awful time. I feel comforted by hopes and glimmers I've seen.
Food has been his biggest comfort through this time... Mine too. Together we have been dieting and getting healthy over the past few years. We have lost a bunch of weight and really turned our health around. We am have been on a bad path over the past two months... Gaining and not exercising. But it's the happiest time we have when we both eat yummy food and cuddle!
The comfort is great but the overall results are upsetting so I keep wondering what to do. I feel I should help him be strong and me too... Buti am so happy with the comfort in the moment.
I'm just blabbing and talking about life... Things are fine over here. Just interesting things I notice over time :)
I am just so angry with myself!! I haven't been this ba in the entire two years of my weightloss!
It isso upsetting. I truly am waking up from terrible terrible nightmares!!!
I know this seems unrelated but we're truly only eating like this for comfort from his depression- do you guys do this?
It's honestly a situation where we both know we'll be happier if we can just eat some good food , watch a good show, and chat. The food usually breaks him out of his depression for awhile so that we can chat and go closer to normalcy.
I'm sorry- I am just so angry with myself for letting it get this far with me! I have got to fix it today!!! I just want to break down and cry! Ugh!!! I have to fix this!!! I worked too hard- so did he! I know he I'd angry about his situation too. It's just so upsetting we're unravelling all our hard work.
I have gained back 10 of the 40 I lost, I need to get on it again.
He's miserable right now. I'm trying so hard to cheer him up but it's just not happening. He wants a new computer... We got him one a year ago (I bought it and he paid me back with birthday and Christmas money). It's not what he wanted... We want him to start a blog to bring in money and get doing something he enjoys. He wants a new one again. I'm tempted to buy it with my tax return and say that we will replenish the savings with the money he brings in. This way it puts a slight pressure on the idea of him working.,. But not too much pressure where we'll starve without it. And... Maybe he will cheer up because he has his computer?
The answer... He won't. He is one of those people who spends all their money when he is depressed. He just loves to spend money, but he never has money to spend. So it hasn't really been a huge issue for us but it's his entire focus when he's down. He wants to but everything! I have never actually known anyone life this but him so it's a very weird situation for me.
I am not a money spender... Kind of a penny pincher really. I recycle, coupon, buy in bulk during sales, and never buy extravagances. We are so opposite on this.,. It's odd because since I don't spend on me I end up spending much more on him each month. I need to truly stop it completely but it's very difficult. It makes him happy momentarily.
But this computer idea might work... If I purchase it with the idea of him working to replenish that will hang over his head so he might actually work and might have something to focus on that he enjoys and should cheer him up because of this.
I am just SO annoyed by his depression right now!!! It's really getting to me and I just want to fix it. I know it's not fixable but I need much better band aids than we've been using.
He looked up therapists yesterday. So we have to talk about it but he's in such a bad place we can't talk about anything,
As far as the comfort food... Yes I've gained back 12 lbs of the weight I lost.
I have to get back on, we have lots of healthy recipes and in fact all day I made healthy things for us to eat but when he's down and can't spend he wants specific food. Right now he wants pizza.
If he says the word I'll get it but I know he's trying to stay strong so I'm not mentioning it.
I just need this to get somewhat easier.
It did get much easier for about 4 months and that ease has faded. I just am exhausted!
He's been in a funk to say the least. Last night he just started shutting down all over again. I had a glimmer of light for about a week. It was interspersed with A LOT of bad times but it was the most hope and light I've seen in 2 months!
He didn't go to bed last night until very very late. I passed out early. I have yoga in about 25 min- its a 2 hour session on Sundays. I'm scared to leave him. If he wakes up he will not be happy that I am gone with the state he is in. He won't complain or be mean even- but he will fall into a deeper depression then he would if I were here when he awakens.
So what do I prefer is the question. Trying to cheer him up all day but at least I went to yoga? Or possibly having him wake up okay and we can go about our day as planned (a nice stroll and lunch at the beach). If these plans don't happen I will be okay- I've grown accustomed to these situations not happening over 50% of the time- but I just need the day to go well beyond that. Hmmm.... I need things to just stay calm for longer like they did all this last week :)
Ohm.. :)
The fresh air would do you... both of you wonders!