Depression Supporters Support Group

This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.

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/ Depression Supporters Support Group

Building support

SB2
SB2

Hi folks, just found this board today, and VERY HAPPY to have done so. I wish none of us were here having to deal with our various situations, but if you're stuck eating a sh!t sandwich, at least it's nice to have someone to share it with!
Through conversations with family and councelors, I finally realized I can't be superman anymore and deal with my wife's ongoing and repeated depression on my own. I'm am trying to build up my support system (outside of counceling) by being open with a few close family members, trying to find groups, taking time to do things I genuinely love, etc. I am also trying to find ways to mitigate my wife's emotional state affecting my own. It can just suck all the wind and motivation out of me for days after an emotional blow out. Any thoughts people have on what has worked for them to find support, build their own lives, and mitigate your partner's emotional state would be supremely appreciated. Glad to be here. Thanks.

alwaysblessed
alwaysblessed
Hello,

Sorry your going through this. I definitely think that having a good support system is going to help you so much to deal with it not just by yourself, but people that will be able to hold you up when you want to give up or throw it all in.

Thats a lot of stress to deal with so you need some healthy outlets and take care of yourself as much as you can. Do something that you like that puts a smile on your face.

If your always giving and never getting then it does put a damper on your spirit so self care is of the utmost importance while your also being there for someone else .

Many blessings!
SB2
SB2
Thank you. I've been dealing with this for 20+ years already. I think what finally shifted for me over the last few years was coming to the realization that this is probably never going away. That was rather a hopeless thing to wrestle with, and very antithetical to my approach to living, but ultimately I think the reality of that is better to learn to live with than the perpetual cycle of hope and disappointment I have been living in for many years. It's been hard to reorient myself, deal with the accompanying anger and bitterness that has built up over the years, and just trying to build the best life I can under the circumstances. It was horrific having to put to death the hopes and dreams I had for our marriage, but in the end your spouse is who she is. Moving forward is the only method I know how to stay sane sometimes. Sorry for venting, but I guess that's kind of what we're here for!
jonas457
jonas457
Thank you so much for sharing this. My partner of two years has also been going through an intense depressive episode for the past three months. She is in her last year of college and also struggles immensely with ADHD, chronic pain, and academic imposter syndrome, which I think are all connected and self-reinforcing for her. I feel so hopeless a lot of the time, knowing that there is very little I can do to help. I have also struggled with depression before but cannot relate to her other struggles. I can definitely relate to the cycle of hope and disappointment.

Thank you for the reminder to take a step back and also take care of myself. I have a history of being the caretaker in previous relationships and so that reminder feels very timely.