Depression Supporters Support Group

This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.

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Axiety

hannabean
hannabean
Well the shit really has hit the fan. My boyfriend is trying but all of a sudden he has these massive anxiety attacks. Then he becomes fixed on something negative and has a hard time letting go. He has started talking about leaving for a couple of weeks to try and get better? Not sure if this is a good idea or not. Then he changed his mind and is now going to wait to see his Dr. and see what he says. I feel lost in the whole thing and am not sure what more I can do? I am trying to be patient and understanding, loving. but feeling slightly hurt that he thinks he needs to get away from us in order to get better first? Any thoughts?
deleted_user
deleted_user
Part of the idea of leaving may be an idea of feeling he is hurting you and doesn't want t d that. It seems some counseling would be a great thing to help him let go of some things and help you deal with him.
Is there a family therapist nearby that is affordable? They are trained to deal with more than one person at a time.
I hope this post helps.
hannabean
hannabean
Thank you very much lovshinmom Yes we are waiting to see a Dr. on the 18th of this month. He has good days, bad days and really bad days. He has been put on Ada-van to help with the extra Anxiety. Still taking his prozac like he is suppose to as well. Still though he has his days of depression anyway. I think they may have to tweak the med's or try a different one. We shall see what is what when the time comes.
brownielove
brownielove
Leaving is a regular conversation in our house. It's honestly multiple times a month.
That's always mines answer to. And just like you, I feel hurt and angry that leaving me would make it so he can feel better. I don't get that. Early on I would do anything to stop him, one night I chased his car down the street. (I promise I'm not crazy it was just a very intense night of his depression and my emotions and I was scared for what he would do).
Nowadays, over a year really I readily accept and welcome the idea of him leaving. Yes, maybe that would help. Maybe you getting some clear vision alone will help answer your questions about what you want. Maybe it is time for you to go, let me help you find a place to go and look. How long should it be?
He has left. He has.
But you know what, he has never been gone for more than 30 minutes!!! He always comes back. At first I was shocked. I think the acceptance and rationality I give it, makes it no longer fun and daring for him? I think he needs to feel rebellious when he says he wants to go and I take the rebellion out of that by planning and accepting. It really wasn't my intention. And for me making it a rational plan makes it okay. It makes me calm and understanding. Without that I'm a basket case.
That's really my best insight. Think of how you can make it okay for you to have him leave, and go from there. At the very least you'll feel calm.