Depression Supporters Support Group

This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.

2,934 Members
2,068 Posts
0 Online
Mental Health
/ Depression Supporters Support Group

A Difficult Couple Of Days

GiveMeStrength
GiveMeStrength

Hi all, 


My long term boyfriend has suffered from varying degrees of depression for many, many years. A couple of days ago he plucked up the courage and spoke to his GP about it. I attended the appointment with him and he was very honest, and I am extremely proud of him for taking this step. 


He was given antidepressants to start taking, and we’ve got an appointment to go back in a couple of weeks. He took the first pill yesterday.


But I suppose in my mind I wanted this appointment to be the miraculous moment where everything ground to a halt and started to get better. Wishful thinking I know! 


So here we are, the day after, and already the waiting feels unbearable. He missed work today, and then in the evening he withdrew to the pub. I turned up to join him because I just wanted to be with him, causing him to feel like he’s being babysat. I asked if he’d taken the next pill today, he said yes, 5 minutes later I asked again to make sure, he said yes. I know I should have just accepted his first answer, but these pills feel like the only glimmer of hope, and I need to know he is in fact taking them.


I want this so much to work, and for him to feel better and to start back on track at work before he gets fired. But I know I have absolutely zero control over any of that. 


I just don’t know what to do for the best :( how do I fill the weeks we have to wait to see if the antidepressants are going to help? It feels like an endless stretch of worry and fear at the moment... 


Any advice, or anything at all, you can offer will be greatly appreciated. Thank you for reading x 

Alv
Alv
Waiting for the magical change can provide both hope and anxiety. I would like to say I have experience that will raise the hope and lower the anxiety, but I do not. I've lived with a depressed spouse for over twenty years. When she was on antidepressants she was better, and then not, and then a change of meds and she was better, and then not, and then summer comes and she is better, and then winter comes and she is not. I guess what I am saying is that being partnered with a person who battles depression is like experiencing the weather in Oregon. Mostly cloudy, a lot of rain and some sunshine. Recall the sunny days, but do not expect the climate in your relationship to change to resemble Arizona. I have a son who does very well on his meds, but as I said, his mother does not do well for long. So I try to enjoy the sunshine when it shines, and find ways to get my vitamin D in other ways when she is not in a sunny season.
GiveMeStrength
GiveMeStrength
That’s quite a beautiful analogy you’ve given there Alv, thank you for taking the time to reply.

I can look back on our relationship now and see that it has always been a pattern of ups and downs... The downs just seem to be winning at the moment, which is what prompted him to finally seek help. I’ll try to quieten my anxiety and up my hope x