Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
Hi Everyone,
I know I haven't posted much in the past few months. I have still been coming on here often and occasionally commenting but not as much as before. While my husbands depression/anxiety had decreased and he had been back to his old self, it felt like I was bouncing back and forth between my own anxiety and "down" days. Most likely a result of keeping everything together for so long. So I have been here, there were just some days where I couldn't seem to form a constructive or helpful thought.
After making some changes, I've been doing good the past few weeks, however now my husband is struggling with his depression again. Around and around we go right? Haha.
It all started Saturday coming on slowly, exploded Sunday (on our 6 year anniversary no less), and has been holding steady ever since. Granted, he did apologize for Sunday and has been more or less keeping to himself, so I haven't had to absorb any of the anger yet, I feel a strange sense of dejavu. Just when I thought we were in the clear after almost 3 months of him feeling good, and it's like it caught up with us.
I knew it would happen eventually. I know that a lot of depressed individuals have highs and lows even when they are medicated, but it's still never a fun experience. I can feel us slipping back into the old routine of him being quiet and distant and me doing anything possible from staying still. And then of course that same familiar Ache and thought of "what next?" I'm just hoping this time it'll be more fleeting than the last.
Anyway, just thought I'd give everyone an update
I know I haven't posted much in the past few months. I have still been coming on here often and occasionally commenting but not as much as before. While my husbands depression/anxiety had decreased and he had been back to his old self, it felt like I was bouncing back and forth between my own anxiety and "down" days. Most likely a result of keeping everything together for so long. So I have been here, there were just some days where I couldn't seem to form a constructive or helpful thought.
After making some changes, I've been doing good the past few weeks, however now my husband is struggling with his depression again. Around and around we go right? Haha.
It all started Saturday coming on slowly, exploded Sunday (on our 6 year anniversary no less), and has been holding steady ever since. Granted, he did apologize for Sunday and has been more or less keeping to himself, so I haven't had to absorb any of the anger yet, I feel a strange sense of dejavu. Just when I thought we were in the clear after almost 3 months of him feeling good, and it's like it caught up with us.
I knew it would happen eventually. I know that a lot of depressed individuals have highs and lows even when they are medicated, but it's still never a fun experience. I can feel us slipping back into the old routine of him being quiet and distant and me doing anything possible from staying still. And then of course that same familiar Ache and thought of "what next?" I'm just hoping this time it'll be more fleeting than the last.
Anyway, just thought I'd give everyone an update
I am sorry it has been starting up again.
You have great insight and perspective in all of this.
The only thing I would share is that I had the road to recovery from certain types of depression explained to me as an up and down experience (that sentence almost made sense...).
What I mean is, when recovering, we often have set backs. What was explained to me is that (wish I could draw pictures on here) we get better, get better, get better, have a set back that does not make us as low as we were before, get better, etc. The set back rarely goes as low as the one before because even those are getting better.
The reasoning for this is that we are taking care of ourselves better (meds, etc.) and we are slowly learning the skills and tools to slow down/prevent depressive relapse.
So there is hope, even in his set back.
Take care. It sounds like you have both done some healing in the last few months and hopefully this set back will be short!
Yeah, I understand the whole thing a little better this time around and especially with getting a small taste of it myself, it has provided a new perspective. It's always a little scary though. I have noticed (so far) that it's different this time because he hasn't taken things out on me as bad yet because I think he's pretty aware of everything instead of being in denial. I even noticed he went and got his old journal out last night that he probably hasn't written in, in years and was writing in it for a long time. I thought that was amazing progress to see him using that as a coping mechanism to write his feelings out instead of just turning inward.
And I am glad you are noticing differences.
It is scary. More so for the supporter than the DP.
Everyone gets depressed at times in their lives. It is a normal reaction to some situations (like your reaction when you could finally relax). The difference for me and your husband is often the lack of tools to cope and the change in our brain chemistry that can occur. The fact that he is coping better and is more self-aware and intrinsically motivated to help himself is a bright light of hope, I think.
Hope you have a good day!
It's great that places like this exist where we can record our own thoughts, and take comfort and support from others :)
You guys are under a lot of stress! Not only dealing with depression, but trying to sell the house. No wonder you are both battling anxiety and/or depression.
It is great that he is journaling though. Maybe it will get it all out before it settles in too much.
Glad to hear from you! Hoping that it eases up again soon. Good luck with everything!
I am so sorry... it is those spirals and ups and downs that kill us! Especially when it is from such an unexpected time and place!!! It is so hard to go through and to deal with! ugh!
I know it is a tough time for you and I hope he continues to try to help himself and realize how much you do for him and how strong of a support you've been for so long.
Sometimes those lows are awful because they're just rude and silent and sometimes they aren't so bad because they're just sad and need to be loved. I hope soon he hits that point of just needing to be loved and held for you :)
That would be great! :)
Come and talk anytime :)
Hugs my friend!!!
We're actually muddling through a new fun adventure this week. He's trying to quit smoking.... Again. He had quit a year ago but before he got medicated, he picked it up again to help his anxiety. So now he's trying to quit again and it's been a stressful week I must say. He lost his cool on me on sunday over it and since then he's apologized and hasn't exploded again but has just been unpleasant to be around. So hopefully after this first week it'll get better, well see. Until then, I'm just riding it out. :)
I am sorry you are riding it out but you do sound like you are doing well inspite of it all. :) I am so happy for you to have found some peace. It is so difficult to deal with them in those times. Those down and depressed times are just so rough to go through! I too have had to learn to ride it out. It almost seems though that in keeping in touch with all of you and ensuring that I always keep my antennas up and aware for any oncoming depression- it makes my life so much easier and happier. And as time goes on I have learned and continue learning more that there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. And this too shall pass. :) It seems as though you are there also in your riding it out :)
I hope that he is able to quit smoking or at least ween himself off to quit- and I hope that you are able to hang in there. Many many hugs for you and my best wishes! I will be thinking of you often :)
I hope that passes quickly!
Take care.
Good luck to him! And you! Keep us updated!