Depression Supporters Support Group
This community is dedicated to spouses, children, relatives, co-workers and others who are actively supporting someone suffering from depression or other serious mental illness. Depression can bring about intense sadness, melancholia or despair that has advanced to the point of being disruptive, which can have a grave impact on the ability of others trying to help.
I am SO exhausted today. I feel like this past month has just taken so much out of me. I'm trying so hard to be strong, to keep moving forward, but it is SO hard. If only I could have one entire day of him being in a good mood, of having a little bit of normalcy I could keep it together just a little bit longer. But I feel like every single day is just horrible. We had just a few hours on Tuesday where he was talkative, and himself, and we had a really good time enjoying the conversation and such, then within mere minutes he sunk right back down again. It's amazing to me how incredibly quick he changes back and forth. Then the days following that were just as bad where there wasn't even a glimpse of him in there. Yesterday, on a Friday which is usually a day I look forward to, he was SO quiet. I think the only thing he said to me the entire evening (6 hours) was "dinner is ready". I know it's not personal, and I get that it's because he's really hurting, but its just so hard for me to feel that alone. Even when you have someone sitting right next to you. We live away from family so I don't have anyone here. Nowhere I can escape to, no one I can stop by their house and just spend a few hours to just get away, and any of the friends I do have just have too much going on now, and he's asked me to keep things kind of quiet about all of this to our mutual friends. I'm just SO alone in this. It's to the point he doesn't even ask me how my day is or seem too interested in anything going on with me. He never checks in with me throughout the day, rather we've talked at all that day or not. Again, I know it's not his fault and he can't help it, but I'm just hurting so bad.
I woke up this morning and he had duty, and I was planning to do all of these things and be productive, but I couldn't do hardly any of it. Finally I just decided it was going to be a "whatever" day for me. I met with a friend for frozen yogurt, browsed at a store, and have just been sitting here watching chick flicks. It's so disturbing too because anyone who knows me knows this is NOT me. I'm usually constantly moving and focused, and I'm just not right now. I feel myself slipping. I can't concentrate at work, clients bother me a lot more than they usually do, my temper is short. It's just really draining.
I'm just really hoping that at his psychology appointment this week he'll get on some meds and they'll actually work. I just want my husband back, I want our life back.
Sorry for such the long story guys, just needed to get all that out.
I woke up this morning and he had duty, and I was planning to do all of these things and be productive, but I couldn't do hardly any of it. Finally I just decided it was going to be a "whatever" day for me. I met with a friend for frozen yogurt, browsed at a store, and have just been sitting here watching chick flicks. It's so disturbing too because anyone who knows me knows this is NOT me. I'm usually constantly moving and focused, and I'm just not right now. I feel myself slipping. I can't concentrate at work, clients bother me a lot more than they usually do, my temper is short. It's just really draining.
I'm just really hoping that at his psychology appointment this week he'll get on some meds and they'll actually work. I just want my husband back, I want our life back.
Sorry for such the long story guys, just needed to get all that out.
I am going to counseling once every two weeks or so, but it doesn't really seem like enough right now.
For you though, if your looking for stuff to do, go to meetup.com and you can join a group based on your interests and go out and do stuff. Might be something fun for you. :)
Stop trying to be superwoman. Lower your standards for housework, and all the things that really won't matter in the long run. Who cares if there are dishes in the sink or the furniture is dusty.
If you know he has duty scheduled, why don't you make that a "me day" so you can plan ahead and not feel you have to catch up on stuff at home?
I think we all need to do that. What is that meetup.com. Let me know how that goes.
Meetup.com is a place where people create groups in their area for people with like interests to get together to do things. I've seen ones from crochet groups, outdoors groups, women's groups, military spouses groups... Etc. I've signed up for some but with my schedule, it's just never happened. But I know some who are pretty active in them and they have good experiences. It sounds like a good way to do activities you're interested in that you Might not want to do alone.