Hi. My stepdaughter is 14 and has suffered from depression/anxiety since I met her 3 years ago. Brief history: she has a sister 3 years older than and my bio daughter (also 3 years older). The girls lost their mom to cancer 4 years ago. Their mom was verbally abusive and aggressive toward them. We are a military family and live in Germany right now -which makes ALL mental health issues more difficult. Over a year ago, my 14 yro started seeing a school therapist for depression and anxiety. We had to take her to the ER on 3 seperate occasions due to thoughts of suicide. All 3 times we were sent home. I couldn't seem to make the point strongly enough to the docs that I was extremely concerned for her saftey. She began seeing a behavioral therapist a few months ago. Initially, she talked of suicide and depression/anxiety w/ the therapist. Recently she has started sharing homicidal thoughts that she writes about in a journal the therapist gave her. She began going twice a week recently because the therapist was very concerned about the homicidal thoughts. Yesterday I found out specifically what alarmed the therapist; 14 yro read her a journal entry about her desire to kill myself, my husband, daughter and step daughter. 3 days ago she got mad at her sisters and told them she wanted to kill them (there was a knife in the sink near her at the time and she knew about it but didn't grab it). The therapist sent us back to the ER for an eval (which has to happen in order for someone to be admitted to a psych ward here). So I took her (husband went back to work) and they interviewed her and I could see that the physician wanted her admitted BUT we had to have the psychologst on call come to interview her first. When she arrived she asked questions, I made sure she understood the homicidal urges my step daughter has toward all of us in the family and ultimately the woman said "well, i want you to make an appointment with your therapist first thing tomorrow morning, but there is no immediate threat of harm to self or others so you can leave." She did ask me before arriving at her final conclusion if I was afraid for my saftey or that of my children. But she asked me that IN FRONT of my step child. There was no way I was going to answer honestly in front of her. What if I did and she sent us home anyway? Then what? So I called my child's regular therapist when I got home and told her the whole story. She was outraged. She should have been hospitalized. Unfortunatley the therapist is going back to the States for emergency family leave so we can't even see her. She is my support as my husband (and dad to 14 yro) completely denies that his child has any issues. He even went so far as to say "we've been here 18 mos and she hasn't done anything." I am overseas alone w/ my husband and kids and truly feel that I am battling this alone (except for therapist). She had me hide all the knives when I got home as well as other sharp objects. 14 yro says the homicidal thoughts just come on during a flash - often triggered by real or imagined slights as far as i can tell. I sent my bio daughter to stay w/ a friend last night and locked my bedroom door. The therapist has another Doc covering us while she is away and thank god he called me this morning to tell me that he got us an appointment w/ the child psychiarist on Friday. I could tell he was alarmed that they had not admitted her yesterday, just as I could tell the physician we met w/ at the ER was surprised (as he told me so). Has anyone every dealt with a homicidal child? I think she has more mental illness than just depression but I am at a complete loss. I cannot even tell her to do chores because I have no idea what will make her snap. I have researched everything from autism to schizophrenia and I'm so scared. I cannot just pick up and leave as we are in a foreign country. I realize I must continue to persue help from professionals, but please, anyone who has similiar stories that you can share so I can learn, please help me.
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