Kierkegaard did not suggest willy nilly forgetting. Uncontrolled disassociation is exactly that, willy nilly forgetting. The loss of time and the consequences and result of uncontrolled forgetting. He suggested "learning to forget" a selective forgetting. So we master forgetting. We choice what is to be forgotten, what will no longer be allowed to control our present. We forget the frightening past through self medication uncontrolled disassociation which we fear. He suggests more. Mastery.

i think he made a mistake as a child i choose forgetting but nothing stays buried forever and the consequences are just as bad maybe worse to choose to forget at least knowing you can face and deal with the problem. forgetting you don't even know the problem let alone the answer.i am glad i have chosen to remember what i can and to face and deal with it. i think we all must choose to do the same , it's the only way to get better. they say ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away it only makes it get bigger and i think that is right on the money. well let me all know what you think. brightest blessings always!

Kierkegaard an in the now guy did not suggest willy nilly forgetting. Uncontrolled disassociation is exactly that, willy nilly forgetting. The loss of time and the consequences and result of uncontrolled forgetting. He suggested "learning to forget" a selective forgetting. So we master forgetting. We choose what is to be forgotten, what will no longer be allowed to control our present. We forget the frightening past through self medication uncontrolled disassociation which we fear. He suggests more. Mastery.

Learn is the operative word.

Forget has multiple meanings in the Oxford English Dictionary. Of course this is a hypothesis. Like forgetting a 600 year old boarder dispute could apply and not be worth a 20 century war. Or letting go of what has been worked through not letting it apply in every relationship in the future. DBT as opposed to CBT. Sorry for the double entry. Redundant? Forgot.

I get what you're saying. I agree, we must learn to forget to move forward. Mabey forget is the wrong word, I think accept is a better word. We have to accept that we can't change the past and stop obsessing about things that we may have done differently. Only with acceptance can we move on and "forget" and mabey forgive. The only person you have to forgive is yourself.

i taught myself to "forget" as a way to move on and because if you are forced to be around people who are criminals as all abusive people young or old are criminals, the only way to continue around them without feeling repulsed 100 percent of the time is to forget and look for whatever may be good in them until you finally turn 18 in usa or 16 in uk and can get away from them all. by that time the child has TRAINED their brain to "forget" bad things. NOT GOOD AT ALL. sometimes i can feel any extreme of emotion bad OR GOOD "going away" even when i don't want it to, because my brain has trained itself to forget extremes of all sorts, not just the bad ones. i can't stop it. even as it is happening i can't stop it.

also PAIN is a good thing to have. it protects the person or living thing. it tells the person, stay away from this its bad. if you forget then you don't know to stay away...you will continue being around the evil or dangerous thing because you won't remember, unless your gut DOES remember that and your gut feeling protects you. its safer though to remember and stay away. killing off evil would be nice. too bad there isn't a death penalty for crimes of abuse. seriously. i don't believe in forgiveness at all. i believe that all crimes of force or holding another captive which falls under kidnapping legally, should be punishable by death.

learning to forget is just avoidance pushing it to the back of your head. i did that for many years and believe me it does not make anything better, my disorder may not have gotten as bad as it has if i just faced the truth and got help. i buried it so deep i didn't remember but my subconscious mind refused to let it be, it was in my dreams in the way i played with my toys, how i reacted to things people, even forgetting it was never completely forgotten and it shouldn't be there is a reason we are suffering and you cant stick your head in the sand and pretend everything is ok, my mom does that and nothing ever changes because of that, nothing gets better. i had to face facts and stop ignoring it, and i'm glad i did at least i understand why i am this way now and can seek help, i can learn what triggers the disorder but without remembering you can't find the triggers, and knowing what your triggers are is key to controlling the disorder.

I personally don't believe in forgiveness. i don't see how forgiving someone who wronged me helps ME! and i have no intentions of absolving those who wronged me, they don't get my forgiveness, they don't deserve it, and i know they haven't changed. it's like someone slapping you and then turning your cheek so they can slap you again it's just asking for them to do it again. i do however believe you don't need to forgive to move on.