Hi missy80,

I can relate completely with what you are describing. I'm quessing your probably in your late teens or early twenties. Not knowing who you are and when you say "I almost feel as though the 'me' they knew doesn't exist anymore" is exactly the way I felt when what I now think was DP blindsided me in my teens. I been dealing with this for along time now and I think I can give you some insight that the "clueless" doctors and nurses don't have. Hope things get better soon.

Take care
Jerry

Hey group...how come no one is helping out missy80? Poor girl is in the hospital and could use some help. Geez...have a heart and give her some support.

Hi there. I am sorry and I can completely relate. You are not alone. I had that exact same thought a couple of days ago; being a conscious being scares me. It seems to be the cause of all my problems lately. Yours sounds a lot like depersonalization. I deal with both, but more the derealization. I have actually only learned with this is very recently, but have been struggling with it for a long time now, with certain periods being more intense than others. I am sorry. I am sorry that you have not gotten many responses and that I am just now checking in. I , too, feel that doctors and other medical professionals can be of no help to me as they don't "get it." It is something so subjective and internal, but others are experiencing it, too, so you are not going crazy. I am here if you need me.

hi, sorry i haven't been on the site in a while, i have been having a hard time dealing lately. it does sound like DP. unfortunately there are very few therapists who know anything about dissociative disorders. there are some out there but you really have to search and do your research, most importantly don't just settle on a doctor who doesn't know about this disorder. there are a few books and web site with information on DP one in particular that gives you a few guidelines on how to find a therapist that suits your specific needs. this is actually a very common disorder and some people only experience episodes and don't have the full blown disorder. the good news with you is that it seems you've only been dealing with this a short time you've found out early about this and so if you find the right treatment you can recover from this, the longer you deal with this and don't receive treatment the harder it gets to recover. i'm not trying to be an alarmist for those of us who have been suffering from it for a while but it is as i have seen it a simple truth. it can be very scary and confusing to not be able to connect with yourself or the people in your life. i have been dealing with this since i was a child and it has gotten worse for me as i didn't know till recently what it was i was dealing with and i would have had trouble even describing what i was going through, until i saw a list of symptoms. do you have any idea of what caused these symptoms for you? i have posted a bit of info on this disorder as well as links to sites and books that you can read. plus those guidelines i was talking about in searching for a doctor. also i am here to talk if you ever need it. sometimes i wonder if anyone exists at all maybe this is one cosmic dream, this happens because we disconnect. right now most of the medical community is at a loss on this they are still learning themselves about the complexities of our minds, DP is a self defense mechanism designed by us to protect us from negative stimulus, it helps to know what caused this in the first place you need to address the root problem and learn different ways to cope with the stresses of our lives. you are not alone, and you are not crazy. i am really sorry i started this site and haven't been here for you all, i will try to do better in the future. brightest blessings and never forget there is always hope as long as we are alive!

Hi..i can relate too.i hope you are feeling better soon.I've had the same experience with therapists not really "getting " what I'm saying or meaning.they say i am detached from my feelings,but that is putting it extremely mild.I've been talking with my therapist about it lately and trying to get her to understand but i just don't think she's grasping what I'm saying.i don't even recognize my face when I look in the mirror.on the days I catch a glimpse of who I used to be,I'm so relieved.But then its "poof" gone and I'm kind of reprogramming my mind to be someone else.sounds crazy,huh?..Well I've been like this my whole life and it sucks.I just want to be "me",sometimes I feel so confused .like I'm not sure how I'm supposed to react or feel about something....you're not alone and I will talk to you whenever you need to..hugsxxxxxxx

Missy-

I know exactly what you are talking about. You explained my situation in a nutshell. Actually, you have me balling here. I am a nurse myself, and I understand, but I wish that there were many others that do.

It does sound like DP, but heck, Im so confused in my diagnosis right now, I dont know how much I can actually help!

But I do know what you are going through, and I hope that you soon feel better.

Heey Missy (and all of you here)

I can totally relate and I have to say seeing you and every else here relating to the symptoms you have been describing really comforted me because I was starting to believe I was 'losing my mind'. I mean how can a person function, follow his goals or simply live life when he doesn't even feel connected with himself. It's so scary at times.

I will describe my experiences with what I think is DP.
First time I ever experienced a 'moment' of DP was when I was like 17 years old. I remember looking the mirror normally like I always do, I mean me, myself, nothing unusually.. then Suddenly, I went Heey.. Heeeey. OMG. And I felt like the person in the mirror wasnt me but in fact someone else staring back at.. Me? I freaked out, I felt like i lost it. Then it passed, and it stayed normal until recently (im 22 now) for about few months I've been 'aware' of it constantly. Resulting into reoccuring moments of DP and fear of it happening again, making it into a vicious cycle. I do have to say that I do have very clear moments sometimes, like i reconnect to myself and I'm like owww thank god! But then it fades and the cycle starts all over. It's like a nightmare. I can't stand being alone because then it catches me. Sometimes even when im with friends. And I'm scared they will notice. Anyway, feeling disconnected from my own thoughts, not reckognising myself in the mirror, feeling 'trapped' in this body, and lately a fear of myself. Afraid that I lose control of myself.

I had anxiety constantly, social anxiety, sometimes even friends and family make me nervous. I understand why I detach from myself, it's because of the stress being so high and im so nervous and scared. The mind just finds a way to deal with daily life and social anxiety by fixing it very simple, You're not You anymore, so done, no more fears. Unfortunately it results into DP. And all of the negative, scary feelings.

So for me personally I think because I had to go through so much stuff and having social anxiety, I got DP. I think I can fix it though, because in the end, really, this is you, this is your body, this has always been your way of seeing the world, your senses. You just lost it because of something that happened to you. THe 'Cure' for me is to get relaxed, really just getting rid of fears, and confronting my own fear of DP-ing. It's a stressfull thing to undergo, but I guess keep yourself busy, surround yourself with people who you can call or talk to. And try to meditate, relax yourself to feel okay again. i'm not there yet at all so I hope talkig to you guys will help me aswell!

U can always contact me for questions or just to talk and relate. Let's help each other being all connected by this really weird state of being. Together we might actually find a way out!