That would anger me to no end. You are not the source of entertainment for the stepfather nor are you your mother's door mat. I'd limit the visits and each time you did visit, the minute the nonsense started, I'd leave and tell them both this is what you will do going forward. If the visits can't be pleasant, then, you've chosen to shorten them and also shorten the visits in between.

They'll soon learn. It's a matter of taking back your control. Such behavior is only committed when you allow it to.

Thank you pd2012,

I love my mum, she is my everything and I felt so guilty when I left as I've never walked out on her, even before she was diagnosed with Dementia. My step father has no bloody idea what he's doing, he doesn't listen cause he thinks he knows everything. I am going to stay away for a few days even though I know she won't remember what happened.
I just miss being able to talk to mum like I used to :(

Surprisingly they don't remember time but do remember that you left suddenly. When my mom gets nasty, I tell her, Ok you are being mean and don't even want me here, so I'm leaving. she sometimes says I do want you here, but then continues to be abusive. I again say I'm leaving, you are not nice.

The next time I visit, in some twisted way she does try to be nicer so I won't leave, it sometimes takes a couple of tries. But when you leave, they think you won't come back, so next time or the time after, they do try to be civil.
I'm so sorry you are going through this, I know it is not easy and leaves us feeling hurt, guilty and like we are nothing. I miss my mum too, the person she has become is no longer my mum.
Sometimes when she is peaceful, i give her a hug and just hold her, I so miss my mom.

Well, I stayed away from mum for a week, when I went to see her she was perfect, it was a lovely chat over a cuppa tea :)

we have to set boundaries. it was very hard for me to miss visits on sundays some times, but I had to. only way I could cope with the remarks and questions. over a divorce that eas 35 yrs old still cast up to me. I would some times visit, make sm talk, ignore the whole conversation from them. and just make postitive remarks. they did not know what to say. what ever they said, I some times answered opposite. I got nothing in return as caught off guard. I would stay approx. 1/2 hr, so I had peace of mind I had visited like a daughters needs or wants, but set the boundary if it was nasty remark visit, I called them, or down visit, 1/2 there was my limit. yes I cried leaving, I was angry also, frustrated, and felt helpless how or what to do. I had to accept this was how ''they were''' now how I was. it did come bk to me many yrs later. mom had made remark to other family member. no matter what, Janie always came to visit each week. so I guess in their sick way, my visit was security to them. comfort in some way. it was just them who could not accept it, or rely in some kind way. but it did make difference to me whole life. that was very hard time in my life. it is hard to let go of also. you do not for get but you have to put those times in a folder of your heart. it happened. but now is now. you got thru it. it was their chapter. you were just a part of it. but easy no it is not going thru it. hugs to you .