Dementia Support Group

Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language and problem solving, although particularly in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time, place and person (not knowing who they...

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Wheekie 04/23/2015

I don't know if I should be posting here anymore, if I'm allowed. See, my Mom passed 3 weeks ago after 4 long years of suffering. She went peacefully in her sleep, heart attack probably, in her own bed. Her biggest worry was losing this house, or being forced to go into a nursing home. All she ever said was "the only way I'm ever leaving this house is in a body bag!" I feel good that I was able to keep her in her home, keep her $ and her bills straight, keep her feed and clean and get her medical care when she needed it...but I'm starting to feel guilty about losing my patience with her sometimes. I tried to be patient, I really did. But sometimes with everything to deal with her, my job and my own life problems in general...after 4 long years...I just lost it! I just wish I could stop thinking about that!

HCARD 04/23/2015

Of course you belong, you are just a step ahead of us. You can teach what you have experienced. We all lose patience, we are human. Hugs

jazzkeys 04/25/2015

So sorry you lost your mom Wheekie, I know you must be feeling so sad. I lose my temper with my mom quite regularly but she knows I love her and throws it in my face on a regular basis. Even though she's demented and has Alzheimers and other mental issues, that she always remembers.
I know I'll feel guilty when she's gone but sometimes I just can't help it. We are programmed to feel guilty, so it is normal.
Wheekie, just because your mom passed doesn't mean you can't come here anymore, we need you to help us and you need us to help you grieve and get through this.
Huge Hugs and keep coming here please.

DebiDoodles 04/26/2015

I'm so sorry you have lost your mum, and yes of course you should be here if you want to talk.....there is no reason why you shouldn't be, and apart from that, you most probably have invaluable advice for us fellow carers .
Although it is a natural part of the grieving process- please try not to feel guilt, you did your very best for her and more than anything enabled her to remain in her own home until the end, you should feel pleased with your efforts,not bad!
You, me, we, all of us are only human....caring is SUCH hard work
and if you lost your temper every so often- so what! It doesn't matter! What matters, is that you cared.... And because you cared, she was able to stay where she wanted to until you said goodbye~ you loved her, and did your best...... No one can ask for or expect more from themselves.
Your mum is now free of this awful disease and at peace

annettearizona 05/01/2015

once we have had somebody with this disease or ourselves with it,we will always belong here.Me condolences on your loss

Truhal 05/03/2015

Put your mind at ease. My mom used to take care of her mother. One day she told me how hard it is, how she would lose her temper and scream at her mother. She explained that this is normal. We are human and sometimes the stress of taking care of a loved one can get to you. It took my mom some time to forgive herself, but she did and told me about it in case I found myself taking care of her.

I just watched an old rerun of Touched by An Angel on Youtube about the same subject. In it Tess (an angel) had dementia and Monica, the other angel found herself screaming at her.

elisheva14 05/25/2015

I took care of my Mother and Father and now my husband. I also have guilt feelings about those times I lost my sweet self and was mean spirited. My mother died 5 years ago and my Father died 32-years ago. I think we are all human and can only do our best.

skive 08/28/2015

Hi. I`m new here. Your Words went straight to my Heart. I too Loose patience with my mom and say Things I shouldn`t say, I shout and blame her too much for Things I do know she has no controle over. Every time it happens, it breaks my Heart and I feel lousy inside- like the meanest person ever. She is helpless and here I go, treating her bad...in an ideal Word we would be super-humans with patience 24-7 and no needs ourselves. BUT in real life we do get fed up, exhausted, angry aso- because we are under huge stress ourselves. AND we are hurting watching a loved one deteriarate before our eyes. Thank you for writing about this all of you, so I know I`m not the only one.

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