Dementia Support Group
Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language and problem solving, although particularly in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time, place and person (not knowing who they...
My Mother is just a nice, forgetful old lady with the doctors...that's why they say she only has dementia a little...but they don't live with her! I've had to remove all knives and sharp instruments from the house because she constantly threatens my life, she goes into the same foul mouthed rant at least 15x/day, against me , her sister, my dead father, my brother and his wife,, accuses me of stealing her money, has locked me out of the house at least 10x... I've had to remove the phone because she constantly makes long-distance calls to nobody( The phone bill tripled), calls my job and rants against my bosses for firing me( Only in her mind), calls relatives, curses at them- calls them over and over. Everyone of them has now put a block on their phone against this phone number and nobody, not her own sister or even my brother comes around anymore because of how she can be. Its just me .... 24/7. the only relief I have is when I work 4-5 hours, 3 nights /week. She's fine to be left alone...no physical problems, doesn't try to cook or get out of the house...in fact, it's a fight to even get her to go out to Doctors appointments! When we go to the doctors, I can't believe this is the same woman I live with! I've told them but they see her and think I'm exaggerating! I've tried my best to be patient and I know all the clichs but I really don't know how much more I can take! It's been 3 years and every day gets worse! My friends refuse to come to the house, if they call she rants so much that I can't talk and if I dare try to go out, there's hell to pay when I get home. I really don't know what to do!
Here's where I sm today. I called hid doctor. I called social services and told them what was going on. I was told the usual --that they could do nothing without proof. Then I talked to my doctor who told me if I didn't walk away I would be dead. She explained that hr has a mental illness and sooner or later he would kill me or the stress would. It took me awhile to accept this. I love my father and wanted to help him. But you see I couldn't. I could only help myself. And that's what I did. Now he lives on his own and he hires people to do what I once did for free. He 's horrible to them but they stay tor the money.
I'm sad it came to this. I call him a couple of times a week. I don't visit, but I got my life back.
I know it may be a lot to go thru,but tricks of the trade!
Also,if you have a way of making a video-via your phone or camera etc....film your mother at home in her regular actions and then show it to her dr..even if you have to go in and just show it to his nurse so she will get the drs attention..that way the dr will know what is needing to be treated!
If she's a sweet old lady at the doctor's office, then she can be the same at home. Apparently, she needs a victim to stomp on and you being in her line of sight takes the brunt of her nastiness. So, there's options here, you either put your foot down and set some boundaries with her or you move out and let someone else care for her.
There's not a chance I would tolerate that behavior. If she has the wherewithall to be a nice little old lady in front of certain people then she's nasty to you behind closed doors by CHOICE!