Kim welcome to the large group of caregivers who have to do so much to learn about, understand and cope with this illness. I think it's harder to deal with mental deterioration than physical. I would recommend the Alzheimers disease group -- a great group with lots of info and very active.

Dementia is a broad term for brain deterioration. It can be from many causes with vascular dementia being probably the largest but least know group. Alzheimers is the poster-child of dementia. While the available treatments may differ the progression and care is similar to all types of dementia.

What type of doc are you seeing? A neurologist is usually the best but you want one who deals with dementia and elder care.

Please continue to post and check out the other forums. About the only thing I can tell you for certain is that you will need support from others who are experiencing this awful disease.

So sorry for the ways in which things are working out with/between your parents; I understand somewhat as my husband is showing many of the things you speak of. I was especially interested in the "dangerously slowered" driving; I always drive when in the car...he seems to get whereever he wants to go much of the time and without accident but his own inert "wariness" must be the culprit. I empathize with your Mother who says "she can't take it anymore"...it is very tempting to dream of getting away from all this.

I read your comment with interest as my husband is suffering from trauma induced dementia, or so I am told. We are having to make daily adjustments in our daily living. He does not drive anymore. He is becoming unable to keep up with his meds, shower, shave or do any chores he had previously done. Dr. does not have any answers, no meds prescribed for this condition. He needs constand reminders to eat, and lives in a world of his own. I miss him so much, but I know it is a no win situation and all i can do is continue to show him I love him and will be here with him as long as possible. I joined this group hoping just talking to others who have similiar problems can give me so suggestions about what I can do to make him more comfortable. I hope your Mother will be able to adjust, it is hard.

I am so sorry to hear about your situation, I can really relate to your story as my Dad was diagnosed with dementia a few years ago, many of the same symptoms that you detailed - memory lapses, slow driving, irritable etc. I also don't live close to my parents (they live in the UK, I live in Australia) so I often feel at a loss to know how to help.

The only advice I am able to give you at this stage is to be there for your Mum as much as you can to help her cope. I am on almost daily email with my mum as it's the only way I can talk with her about it and her with me without my Dad knowing. through email she is able to tell me what's going on and also how she's feeling. We also skype on a regular basis so they can both see my 2 sons, which I know Dad enjoys. The skype also allows my Dad to see me and the boys regularly so that he remembers our faces. Mum has now started to open up to me more, I think writing it down helps her too, so perhaps this would be a good thing to start with your mum if you're not already doing it regularly?

It's so sad to see this happen, I hope that the specialists are able to offer some answers and perhaps some medication that can slow down progression if it is dementia. Sorry I'm not offering much help but I thought it may be a comfort to know that there are others in a similar situation who can relate to how you're feeling

Cath