Dementia Support Group
Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language and problem solving, although particularly in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time, place and person (not knowing who they...
I moved in with my mother so she would not be alone when she got out of the nursing home - and I lost my house and have no where else to go. I have a child to take care of, as well, and it is too much. She has come home now, and will lose the house if she goes back into the nursing home, but it is just too much and I don't know what to do.
I am trying so hard to be good to her, but she wanders around in her wheelchair making things more difficult by hiding things I need and rearranging things. She can't walk or clean herself up or go to the bathroom for herself, and I can''t leave her alone for long.
My brothers are both nearby, but offer only limited help, and only when they feel like it and only if I plan it in advance. I've been working so hard that I hurt all over and am exhausted.
I love her, but I don't like living here. My plan had been to move nearby, not into this house. I really don't think that she has much longer, and I could be wrong about that, but really think that it would be better for her to be in a place that she can be properly cared for.
I am trying so hard to be good to her, but she wanders around in her wheelchair making things more difficult by hiding things I need and rearranging things. She can't walk or clean herself up or go to the bathroom for herself, and I can''t leave her alone for long.
My brothers are both nearby, but offer only limited help, and only when they feel like it and only if I plan it in advance. I've been working so hard that I hurt all over and am exhausted.
I love her, but I don't like living here. My plan had been to move nearby, not into this house. I really don't think that she has much longer, and I could be wrong about that, but really think that it would be better for her to be in a place that she can be properly cared for.
Do you have all your mother's financial paperwork in place? POA, estate paperwork etc?
You're an amazing person for attempting to take on this type of 24/7 care. There is no one person out there that can take care of a dementia patient that requires the kind of attention that your mother does and not suffer depression and become overwhelmed. I'm sure you love her very much but it's not feasible for one person to do all this, take care of themselves AND a child to boot....
Have you spoken with the care manager from the NH to see what home programs your mother qualifies for in your city or state? If not, do some research on that and see if her insurance can help with any outside assistance or what programs are offered that could help you.
If all else fails, the next step would be is to find a place of your own, move out and put your mother's home up for sale to cover her expenses in the NH. No one can predict longevity so it would be best to start planning for your mother's future as well as your own now.
I hope you find some peace soon. It's a tough road to travel..