Dementia Support Group

Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language and problem solving, although particularly in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time, place and person (not knowing who they...

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sckkey 01/12/2016

My husband has fronto temperal dementia. I have help 20 hours a week, but the rest of the time I am his caregiver. My question is this: it is necessary for everything to be about him? I use the time that he is with his aide and out to catch up on things like tv shows...when he is here he must have his shows on and he watches the same 6 movies over and over again. I feel guilty not joining them on their outings but I would like to be able to chill and watch my shows too. How do I not fee l quilty about this, and should I relinquish the little alone time I have to keep him company with his aide?

tgik 01/12/2016

HI! I'M TGIK. I HAVEN'T BEEN ON IN A WHILE BUT I JUST WANTED TO GIVE YOU SOME SUPPORT. I KNOW IT'S EASIER SAID THEN DONE BUT YOU SHOULDN'T FEEL GUILTY. YOU NEED SOME ALONE TIME AND AT LEAST SOMEONE IS HELPING YOUR HUSBAND. YOU NEED TO TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF SO YOU CAN TAKE CARE OF HIM WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS AROUND
MY HUSBAND HAS A LOT OF HEALTH PROBLEMS DUE FROM AGENT ORANGE FROM THE VIETNAM WAR. HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH LEWY BODY DEMENTIA A FEW YEARS AGO AND HE ALSO IS HAVING A FEW OTHER HEALTH ISSUES. I DON'T LEAVE HIM ALONE AND IF I DO HAVE TO DO ANYTHING I GET SOMEONE TO SIT WITH HIM. I CAN RELATE TO WHAT YOU'RE FEELING. JUST KNOW THAT I WILL KEEP YOU AND YOUR FAMILY IN MY PRAYERS.
I HOPE YOU HAVE A BLESSED DAY! HUGS, CHRIS

jazzkeys 01/16/2016

20 hours a week is really not much and any time you can get alone and have some peace is a blessing. If you don't feel guilty, Great !!!
I always did and knew I shouldn't, it was my time and I shouldn't be worrying but I couldn't help it. Maybe because it was my mom, not my husband, she had me trained to only care for her, not myself.

oldkittycat 01/18/2016

what ever you do DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR ME TIME. NOT EVER. and 20 hrs a week is not much time. but only you know how much time or money u have for care givers. but please take it from someone who is looking back and no matter if husband or parents, I did not put me first. and that is not selfish way..it is a MUST. as care givers, all do not care for themselves. we think it is selfish, or it is better to show and be there 24/7. it is our duty. please please. do not give up that time. go for lunch. is there some way you can get a kindle or some device to watch your own movies. in same house but diff room? or even same room with ear plugs and watch own shows? then he feels u r there, but have some peace of mind? but do not feel bad for wanting me time. you need it. oh I look back now and reading your thoughts... please do not give up that time for yourself. I can not say it or stress it enough. hugs.

annettearizona 01/21/2016

aren't there times when he is resting that you oculd watch your shows or whatever? Or perhaps get him involved doing something else besides tv..but I know it isn't easy but do treasure the time

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