Dementia Support Group
Dementia is the progressive decline in cognitive function due to damage or disease in the brain beyond what might be expected from normal aging. Particularly affected areas may be memory, attention, language and problem solving, although particularly in the later stages of the condition, affected persons may be disoriented in time, place and person (not knowing who they...
I have a question for anyone who ever obtained guardianship of a mother or father. Basically, what was involved once you got guardianship.
Here's the backstory: I've had all sorts of problems with my paranoid schizophrenic father throughout my life. He now has dementia and have told relatives he plans to kill me. As his background involved beating my mother years ago, and I look like her, I have to take this seriously.
He's in no shape to take care of himself, so I desperately sort social services who, long story short, had him taken to the hospital and then I refused to pick him up. They wanted to send him home the same day. Once they realized they couldn't get in touch with me, they sent him to a mental health hospital that cares for all forms of mental illness along with dementia.
I got in contact with them and was told there was a hearing scheduled. I thought that meant the state had taken over. They told me to come to the hearing and I did. Turns out it was for the hospital. Dad is allowed to stay just 6 weeks more then he's out. I was told that I need to seek guardianship and find someplace for him to go. I was told that the places available require more than his income and that the rest will have to be paid.
If I start paying, I won't have anything left for myself which is extremely bad as I'm a widow with no children and no brothers or sisters.
So, here I am. And that's my question. I've never taken care of anything but a dog. I have no support system from family. I'm feeling overwhelmed already. If I take dad home with me, he'll eventually kill me. He's already gotten physically aggressive with me. Like I said, I'll have to sleep with one eye open. In addition, the stress of dealing with him has already had consequences in the form of two strokes. I was blessed that I didn't end up with lasting effects, but my doctor warned me.
Dad is 88. And most nursing homes do not want a patient who is mentally ill with dementia.
Posted on 12/24/15, 02:31 am
Here's the backstory: I've had all sorts of problems with my paranoid schizophrenic father throughout my life. He now has dementia and have told relatives he plans to kill me. As his background involved beating my mother years ago, and I look like her, I have to take this seriously.
He's in no shape to take care of himself, so I desperately sort social services who, long story short, had him taken to the hospital and then I refused to pick him up. They wanted to send him home the same day. Once they realized they couldn't get in touch with me, they sent him to a mental health hospital that cares for all forms of mental illness along with dementia.
I got in contact with them and was told there was a hearing scheduled. I thought that meant the state had taken over. They told me to come to the hearing and I did. Turns out it was for the hospital. Dad is allowed to stay just 6 weeks more then he's out. I was told that I need to seek guardianship and find someplace for him to go. I was told that the places available require more than his income and that the rest will have to be paid.
If I start paying, I won't have anything left for myself which is extremely bad as I'm a widow with no children and no brothers or sisters.
So, here I am. And that's my question. I've never taken care of anything but a dog. I have no support system from family. I'm feeling overwhelmed already. If I take dad home with me, he'll eventually kill me. He's already gotten physically aggressive with me. Like I said, I'll have to sleep with one eye open. In addition, the stress of dealing with him has already had consequences in the form of two strokes. I was blessed that I didn't end up with lasting effects, but my doctor warned me.
Dad is 88. And most nursing homes do not want a patient who is mentally ill with dementia.
Posted on 12/24/15, 02:31 am
I remember two hospitals wanted my ailing father who suffered from alzheimers who was a very aggressive patient to just go home upon release. My mother and I finally pushed back and told them NO, it's not happening, work with us on getting him into a nursing facility. The point of the story is that things are not always as we're told; it's just a matter of the easiest way for the hospitals to do the least.
I HOPE YOU HAVE A BLESSED DAY! HUGS, CHRIS