Hi Everyone, I'm currently in a Chronic Pain Management program and it was suggested that I branch out to increase my network of support. One of my group members has found great solace in on-line chat/message boards and so I have joined.

15 years ago I was giving a tour of local Irish pubs to some friends, when on the way back from the rest room...a random person grabbed me around the waist, and although I had only had 1/2 glass of wine, he was snockered and fell over backwards with me. I tore my medial collateral in my knee (it was hanging) and cracked a vertabrae in my back (it took Dr.'s 3 years to discover that) due to my complaints of being unable to walk, climb stairs properly and constant pain. The MRI back then, revealed I had spondylolesthesis L1-4 and S1. They offered to surgically place rods in my spine there to stabilize it, and I declined. So I dealt with constant pain, limitation and a grave change of lifestyle (no more boogie boarding, skiing, bike riding, running, hiking with daily task performance severely impaired). You can imagine, this contributed to weight gain (further pressure on back) and depression (for the loss of ability).

About 3 years ago my condition worsened and I continued to poorly self-manage. I never took meds, aside for an occassional Valium for severe muscle spasms....only 1 - would do the trick, so I did not become addicted.) And lots of ibuprofen. Thing is, I began to isolate, cut-off friends, stayed home and became depressed. Finally I reached out to my excellent primary care Dr. who had me go through MRI, CATscans and physical therapy when a Mamogram Technician helped me herniate 2 discs in my neck due to improper handling during the scan. Here, aside from treating the 2 herniated discs in my neck, they did a lumbar MRI and discovered I had DDD, several Disc bulges, synovial cyst, anterolisthesis, spondylolysis, anterolisthesis, facet arthropathy at L2-3 through L5-S1 and an annular fissure (that old broken disc), stenosis, and abutment of exiting nerve roots. In laymens terms, my lower discs are turning every which way, are loose (I can manually adjust them) and make me disabled, but not enough for a handicapped parking pass.

With this discovery my Spine Doc said surgery was not an option...to much could go wrong. I appreciate this. So next step, aside from taking meds, which I DON'T want to do, I was referred to a Chronic Pain Management Clinic. 

It is absolutely fantastic and I high reccommend it to anyone suffering. I was having ALOT of suffering. They have been teaching me Feldenkrais movement, Mindfullness Meditation, Cognitive Therapy, Self-Care, Pacing, and so many other skills that I will share in this group. I feel as if I have woken from a bad dream of pain and suffering to once again join the world, and little glimmers of my old joie de vivre are surfacing. 

So this has been a long journey. Sure I have bad days. Last week, one of my discs bulged and I couldn't walk for 4 days - but I didn't catastrophise it or give into fear and I was able to use the tools I was taught to relax my back enough to make a manual adjustment within 4 days. Previously - that event would have lasted 10 days-3 weeks. 

Thank you for listening to my journey. I am an optimist and believe in self-healing - even when these old bones don't co-operate. You can expect positive input and support from me...and posts that aren't so long:)))