Daughters of Abusive Mothers Community Group
For those of us whose mothers were (or still are) abusive to us. In a society that puts mothers on a pedestal it can often be lonely dealing with the feelings of hurt, betrayal, anger, emptiness and grief of having an abusive mother. People with loving mothers often find it hard to believe or understand. Here is a safe place to express the feelings and find others with...
"Here is a safe place to express the feelings and find others with similar experiences and support each other."
If you are hurting and you share it, are we just supposed to nod our head and tell you to jump back into the fire and get burned again? I thought this was the place where we could shed societies' expectations of us: to just forgive Mommy Dearest and let her continue to abuse us.
I think some of you need to put on your big girl panties, and not smack back at people who are only trying to help. If you think my or another persons advice doesn't apply to your situation then you should be big enough to ignore it or comment without getting defensive about it. Perhaps that advice will help someone us. Please remember, most of us aren't professionals: we can only share what we know worked for us.
I am not condoning personal attacks and if you think someone has personally attacked you, I think you should report it. If you're not sure, then message that person. Perhaps you are reading into something or the person left out an important word or comma. It happens. We aren't professionals and we don't have all the answers.
NOTE: I will not be here as often as I was before. I am having health issues. I am currently consumed with finding a diagnosis, renting out my house, selling my car and most of my things (too sick for many of them) along with adjusting to not being able to drive and be independent. Basically, I'm adjusting to becoming disabled due to a chronic illness. My battle to become well adjusted despite having an abusive mother, has made me strong enough to weather this storm. I know God has other things for me to do in this life, and I will work to find them. I will keep all of you in my prayers and check in now and then, but for now I'll be busy in other areas of Daily Strength.
If you are hurting and you share it, are we just supposed to nod our head and tell you to jump back into the fire and get burned again? I thought this was the place where we could shed societies' expectations of us: to just forgive Mommy Dearest and let her continue to abuse us.
I think some of you need to put on your big girl panties, and not smack back at people who are only trying to help. If you think my or another persons advice doesn't apply to your situation then you should be big enough to ignore it or comment without getting defensive about it. Perhaps that advice will help someone us. Please remember, most of us aren't professionals: we can only share what we know worked for us.
I am not condoning personal attacks and if you think someone has personally attacked you, I think you should report it. If you're not sure, then message that person. Perhaps you are reading into something or the person left out an important word or comma. It happens. We aren't professionals and we don't have all the answers.
NOTE: I will not be here as often as I was before. I am having health issues. I am currently consumed with finding a diagnosis, renting out my house, selling my car and most of my things (too sick for many of them) along with adjusting to not being able to drive and be independent. Basically, I'm adjusting to becoming disabled due to a chronic illness. My battle to become well adjusted despite having an abusive mother, has made me strong enough to weather this storm. I know God has other things for me to do in this life, and I will work to find them. I will keep all of you in my prayers and check in now and then, but for now I'll be busy in other areas of Daily Strength.
Lately I have been more stunned about my mother not responding at all to my letter to her, and the letter was not mean. I just stated that our relationship can not go on like that anymore with her constant searching of what I could be at fault at.
We are all grownups, some of us young, some middleaged and some older and we all express our feelings differently, but we should all respect each other, because we have similar experiences with our mothers.
So lets respect each other and each others feelings, and if somebody has a problem then say to the person what you have to say. We have similar experiences, but we are still all different.
That is my opinion, and I am glad I found this support group. Adios, Ute