My sisters and I were asked to step in and help take care of our mother and collectively we declined to do so. I point blank told them "its unfair to ask her victims to take care of her - its just too much to ask of us. It is too much for us to bear, especially since all of us are disabled and unable to live alone, travel and work. The emotional toll would put any of us in our graves if we tried to do so.

A year ago, mother broke her wrist and was asking someone to care for her. A year ago we were all too disabled to, so she sucked it up and quit whining and went home. I guess she decided to try again this year. She broke her ankle this time and oh yeah, all of her paperwork is neatly staged on her dining table for someone to find. The hospital has noticed she's crazy this time. They are not letting her go home because they noticed that she was dangerously mismanaging her medications. Initially they assumed it was just dementia or something like that. I tattled on her though, about how she will make herself sick or hurt herself for attention. Finally, after 30 years of trying to tell someone this lady is bat shit crazy, they are listening!

We think our mother has Munchhausen, Narcissistic/Sociopath tendencies, some paranoia and prone to panic attacks. If any of her family members would step in and assist her, she would stay sick longer in order to garner more attention. Also, if this truly is just a ploy for attention, once they appoint a guardian to her, she will suddenly miraculously heal and do what she needs to do to regain control over her life. I know the one thing she hates not having: control. I'm hoping it shakes her up enough to actually make a change in her life. I must pray, we might have the chance to find a human being, capable of humane behavior in their somewhere.

Sorry for the long post, its been an emotionally draining week revisiting all the messed up memories that we carry of our mother. Like noticing Mom is spiking your medicine to keep you sick. Watching Mom work herself up into a frothy fit or make her self sick or hurt herself. The times she nearly killed me, the times she tried to push me down the stairs, etc, etc... I am numb from having to revisit all the horrors of my childhood. I tried comfort food, I tried wine and the rest of the Jim Beam. I almost went for the Vodka when I remembered the scene from Forest Gump where Jenny is throwing rocks at her child hood home and then breaks down and cries, then Forest Gump states "Sometimes, I guess there's just not enough rocks."

The wounds have been reopened: raw and sore again. It will take us all some time, to pull ourselves back together and go on with our lives. I am proud that we stood strong and didn't let this bully (Mom) push us around anymore.

When I was a kid, I used to think that families that didn't visit their elderly relatives were mean. Now I know, it wasn't the family that was mean, its that elderly relative sitting their all alone was probably like my mother. I think what happened was that they took their kids and other family for granted, treated them like shit and now demand that someone pay them respect. Well, they are reaping what they sowed in life. Bitterness and sorrow. Its harvest time for my mother. Will she be able to comprehend that she is the reason why she is all alone during her final years?