Daughters of Abusive Mothers Community Group
For those of us whose mothers were (or still are) abusive to us. In a society that puts mothers on a pedestal it can often be lonely dealing with the feelings of hurt, betrayal, anger, emptiness and grief of having an abusive mother. People with loving mothers often find it hard to believe or understand. Here is a safe place to express the feelings and find others with...
Since I've been an adult I have only had to share one thanksgiving with my mother, therefore I've had well over 20 years of very good thanksgiving holidays. Most have been a smattering of friends collected together and my kids or just myself. The last two thanksgivings, I've been blessed to be included in my boyfriends family gatherings.
It is so nice to see his parents, all his brothers, sisters, and their spouse and children gather together. There is no putting on airs, no tensions, no bickering, no vying for power or dominance, no snide remarks (ok maybe some in jest). Just a family with lots of love and acceptance all around. It feels so nice to be included in a family where I don't have to be careful how much I share, what I do, what I say, how I act, how my kids act, what they say, etc etc. I could just be myself and enjoy the moment. That is how life is meant to be lived.
They are not a perfect family, but they are supportive of each other. Any drama that occurs is handled without huge fights, big drama or other inappropriate behavior. I wish I had grown up in that type of atmosphere. From growing up with the wrong type of atmosphere, it really makes me appreciate families who get it right. It brings me joy to see it and be a part of it.
It is so nice to see his parents, all his brothers, sisters, and their spouse and children gather together. There is no putting on airs, no tensions, no bickering, no vying for power or dominance, no snide remarks (ok maybe some in jest). Just a family with lots of love and acceptance all around. It feels so nice to be included in a family where I don't have to be careful how much I share, what I do, what I say, how I act, how my kids act, what they say, etc etc. I could just be myself and enjoy the moment. That is how life is meant to be lived.
They are not a perfect family, but they are supportive of each other. Any drama that occurs is handled without huge fights, big drama or other inappropriate behavior. I wish I had grown up in that type of atmosphere. From growing up with the wrong type of atmosphere, it really makes me appreciate families who get it right. It brings me joy to see it and be a part of it.
My family seems to be learning from the new family brought in by marriage and other relationships! Things are getting better for us. Though my family was never so openly hostile as some others I've read and heard about. I thinks it helps that I can focus on the positive, nurturing, friendly people at get-to-gathers, and even the family who tended to be negative, etc. seem to be willing to let these new people set a positive tone.