Daughters of Abusive Mothers Community Group
For those of us whose mothers were (or still are) abusive to us. In a society that puts mothers on a pedestal it can often be lonely dealing with the feelings of hurt, betrayal, anger, emptiness and grief of having an abusive mother. People with loving mothers often find it hard to believe or understand. Here is a safe place to express the feelings and find others with...
Hi, I'm new to this support group. I'm 43yrs old, single, jobless after a 16yr career, agoraphobic (afraid to leave my home. A anxiety disorder), no children, no hope anymore. My mother is a narcissist and has emotionally beat me down since as long as I can remember. I was the only child. My mother and father have been married forever. Basically he's become her drone, he no longer can think for himself bc she has been brainwashing him for years. He doesn't even contact me anymore. That's fine because he is rude and nasty to me as well.
I was always able to somehow survive the cruelty but I was certainly depressed and anxious growing up. But once I was an adult, moved out of that house fast! I had a great career that paid well. I was financially independent. I fell in love with a handsome Marine. I bought my first home for us in 2007. A very cute home! Never ever in my life has my mother been proud of me or my accomplishments. She would talk so negatively about me (and my bf) behind our backs.
Long story short...she had the power to take all that away from me because she is so wicked and damaging behind closed doors. Now I sit here in the same house I first bought, jobless, poverty level, depressed beyond belief. How could someone so evil do this to her own daughter!! I try to explain to my friends but you know how that goes. They can't imagine such a thing! They have lunch with their mom's, talk to them on the phone everyday, go shopping together....WTF, THAT is something I don't understand! So I thought maybe I'm not the only one out there that is unloved by their own mother..i found this site today. Luckily I will admit, I almost had to call the suicide prevention earlier, but calmed down.
She is cold and cruel with whatever comes out of her mouth. I've always felt the hate from her but a few fridays ago she confirmed out loud to my face that she never ever wanted me and blamed my dad for my existance. Of course the only other thing that heard her verbally say this was a fly on the wall!! Get it? So I've flipped my lid, feel like I'm going to die, angry, hurt, suicidal at times or homicidal and wanting to kill her! She's lucky I'm agoraphobic and won't bother driving to her house.
I need support.xoxoxo
Yes she certainly does hate herself. The prob is I'm all alone, trapped in this house, no husband or bf bc she helped me become agoraphobic and there's no way to meet anyone.
Last night I finally emailed a family member about everything and even attached a few of the YouTube videos hoping that would help her understand. Instead I get in response "she gave you life" it's like WOULD YOU LISTEN TO ME!! YES SHE DID AND SHE HAS MADE LIFE NOT ONLY HORRIFIC BUT SHE HAS MADE ME WANT TO END MY LIFE MANY TIMES. Soooooooo frustrating.
Thanks for your support.
I don’t find it helps to know my mother struggles with her own self. What good does that do someone who needed love and care in order to be a secure, confident adult? It does me no good at all.
Yes, this websit is not posted on regularly which is unfortunate. But, from time to time I get to hear from other women and you can tell from what they write that they understand completely and it helps me to not feel so alone, even if it’s just for a little while.
I’d recommend the book Mean Mothers by Peg Streep if you’re interested. It’s very good and has helped me understand my past a bit better.
I hope this little bit of support here has helped you through a very low point.