Daughters of Abusive Mothers Community Group
For those of us whose mothers were (or still are) abusive to us. In a society that puts mothers on a pedestal it can often be lonely dealing with the feelings of hurt, betrayal, anger, emptiness and grief of having an abusive mother. People with loving mothers often find it hard to believe or understand. Here is a safe place to express the feelings and find others with...
My boyfriends ex-wife is clearly a narcissist. He is a great guy, and part of what helped us bond is my understanding of what he was going through with his ex. I'm sure a lot of women could not believe the stories he told. He is a very loving guy whose exwife has completely poisoned their kids into believing that he is a horrible, nasty, mean, mentally imbalanced, etc, etc guy. The kids make up tons of lame excuses, won't return phone calls, won't visit, won't visit his family. One is an adult and one is nearly an adult.
I've been encouraging him to tell the kids to go screw themselves if they keep treating him this way. He on the other hand tried for two years to be patient, beg, plead, or coerce the kids to visit with him and his family. He just told their adult son, if they don't visit him and his family he is through with him (and his sister).
It saddens me that these kids have the opportunity to be with a balanced sane parent and they choose this evil woman over him. They are completely brainwashed and bought (paid for with cars and etc) by her. She lets their daughter run wild in order to continue to get child support for her. The exwife interferes with their son's mental health care and their is no way to know exactly what is wrong with him now (probably schizophrenic.
I worry about the daughter living in that house with the son with mental instability, being manipulated by the narcissist mother. He's already attacked her twice and we reported it to CPS but there is nothing we can do about it because Mom is such a good liar.
I just hope that one day the kids wake up to reality. She's really really good and smooth with her devious tricks. I try to tell him he is doing the right thing telling the kids he's done with them. Any thoughts out there from you guys. I want to give him some words of comfort that one day, they will realize she is a mess.
If your mom turned you against your Dad, how long did it take you to want to rekindle your relationship with your father?
I've been encouraging him to tell the kids to go screw themselves if they keep treating him this way. He on the other hand tried for two years to be patient, beg, plead, or coerce the kids to visit with him and his family. He just told their adult son, if they don't visit him and his family he is through with him (and his sister).
It saddens me that these kids have the opportunity to be with a balanced sane parent and they choose this evil woman over him. They are completely brainwashed and bought (paid for with cars and etc) by her. She lets their daughter run wild in order to continue to get child support for her. The exwife interferes with their son's mental health care and their is no way to know exactly what is wrong with him now (probably schizophrenic.
I worry about the daughter living in that house with the son with mental instability, being manipulated by the narcissist mother. He's already attacked her twice and we reported it to CPS but there is nothing we can do about it because Mom is such a good liar.
I just hope that one day the kids wake up to reality. She's really really good and smooth with her devious tricks. I try to tell him he is doing the right thing telling the kids he's done with them. Any thoughts out there from you guys. I want to give him some words of comfort that one day, they will realize she is a mess.
If your mom turned you against your Dad, how long did it take you to want to rekindle your relationship with your father?
It sounds like what you got, or rather your boyfriend, is a case of Parental Alienation.
I know its tough to witness this going on. Dating someone with children from another, even if she's peachy, requires emotional strength to pull back and disengage. Be supportive of him but try not to get emmeshed in it. It will drive you crazy. Focus on creating a loving relationship and have FUN!!!!
The kids will come around when they are older believe me.
Have you heard of Steptalk? It's a support site for step-parents and those dating kidfull folk.
Well, on his own, he finally told the kids to piss off. I guess his friends and family have been telling him to tell the kids off too.
We have a great relationship and we have a lot of fun. Its just every holiday, he just breaks down and agonizes over his kids. I think things will get better when he accepts what's done is done. I know it will be very hard this Christmas, but I know things will get better.
I can't really be a step parent to grown kids that are never around.