Steroids do make you go crazy and so it is rough to think clearly. I just came off of being on IV steroids and boy oh boy was I crazy. Allow yourself to know that you are not yourself and your mind is not right. Accept what the medication is doing to you and then rise above it. We are all so much stronger than we think we are and tomorrow is going to be a great day for you! Instead of imagining yourself being sick, imagine all the positive things tomorrow will bring. The smiles on your coworkers faces to see you back, the pride you'll feel after a days work, imagine yourself driving home to your family and seeing how happy they are for you. Imagine getting on daily strength and telling us how great of a day you had... Which you will!

Good luck tomorrow- I know it will be a great day :)

You are never alone here, but if you are really worried about having an accident, maybe you should take precautions.

Okay, I'll admit it, I've used adult diapers before as an insurance policy. I'd rather wear an adult diaper than mess my pants. I think the reassurance of having a 'safety net' ought to help you reclaim your Zen; you're gonna need it for work and the calmer you are today and tomorrow, the less likely your situation will happen.

In the meantime, find yourself a good book -- if your brain is working overtime, you need to give it something to do.

Hope it helps, I'm not sure I'm a good one for this.

Your coworkers will be so happy to see you. I have been out of work myself since the beginning of February (I am a high school teacher) and I know that I will feel the same way as you if I do actually go back this year (I am looking at May). As you know, as big factor with our disease is the mental aspect. Maybe seeing the smiling faces of your coworkers will distract you from any pain or quick BM. Remember to prepare....eat what definitely agrees with you the night before, and give yourself plenty of zen time in the morning. Wear dark pants? That's my plan! lol You will do just fine if you listen to your body. :)

I can completely relate to this--when I first got sick a few months ago, I missed about a month of work and even though I was desperate to get back to normal life, I was so stressed about returning to the office for many of the same reasons that you are likely pondering. I was going through the crazy mood swings with prednisone too, so i really was a mess!

i find that taking a little extra time in the mornings and evenings to meditate, read about mindfulness and healing or listen to some relaxing music, the resulting calm carries over to my sleep and the rest of my day. If I start feeling anxious during the day, I just take a few minutes to do some deep breathing and that usually helps a lot.

I've come to realize with anxiety that sometimes just surviving is a major victory and once you figure out how to survive, the good days are not far behind. Tomorrow will be the first day on the path to good :)

Thanks everyone for the support, a bit of a panic set in when I started thinking to much I am sure everyone here knows how that is. I am going to the Y tomorrow before work to exercise and relax and watch the sunrise over Lake Superior after that. I am so grateful I found this site and found you guys with the same issues and well oddities I suppose you could say. You must admit we are an odd bunch. Getting back to my Zen place is exactly what I need, watch my food intake, think positive and of course wear dark pants just in case. I love that one I needed the laugh. Thank you all again for the kind words and the laughs, tomorrow will be great.
Charlie

Good luck to you! I am fortunate to have a very flexible job, but I have to say that even though I am more anxious on the days I teach, I still feel so much better at the end of the day. I guess I feel reassured that this illness does not have to define my life.

Lots of time in the morning before work is a great idea - I find that on most days if I can clear my system in the AM I am relatively good throughout the rest of the day.

Will be thinking of you tomorrow!

Best of luck to you tomorrow! I have certainly been in your situation and understand what you are going through mentally. I swear that the mental aspect of this disease aggravates the condition further...

Keep us posted!

Good luck. I personally tell people at work what I am going thru, also take spare clothes and baby wipes. I am so lucky I have a flexible job, but my other job is with an agency, so I can get sent anywhere, which puts me in a bit of a state

Ask doc for Lomotil, that's they only way I can go to work! DO NOT get generic there is a difference-believe me! I say this almost everyday on this site because it really does help alot!!!!

So, tell us how the first day back went. Hope it was a good one!

It went Awesome!!!!!!!! First time in 6 years I went to work and did not take one immodium all day. A month ago I was taking 6 a day, my old docs idea of slowing things down. I stuck to my plan and worked out and watched the sunrise over Lake Superior this morning. I was actually happy and content to just be alive today. One BM this morning and no "emergencies", wahoo life kicks ass again! Thank you all for the comments and support, meant the world to me. I pray we all have good health in the future, but for now I will take today and think about tomorrow when the sun rises.

Yay!!! Happy to hear the great news...congratulations..this calls for a celebration....it truly is encouraging, thanks for sharing. Gives us all hope!!!

By the way celebrated with a gluten free beer with supper tonite, that is going to take some getting used to not like my old standby Bud Light but it will do.