COPD & Emphysema Support Group

COPD is a progressive disease characterized by airflow obstruction or limitation. Emphysema is characterized by loss of elasticity of the lung tissue, destruction of structures supporting the alveoli and of capillaries feeding the alveoli. Both have symptoms that include shortness of breath, among other respiratory troubles. If you are a COPD or Emphysema sufferer, join...

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Worried about my dad

DifferentLife
DifferentLife
Hi everyone! My dad has stage 4 COPD and I wrote a few months ago scared to death of his condition and here i am again. This disease is such a roller coaster of emotions. We had the BEST Christmas. This week has been rough for him. He says he can "feel" a difference in his lungs and the oxygen isn't helping much anymore. (At least not this week). He goes to the doctor on Monday and he says he may just be getting worse. That scares me. He is easily winded after just a few steps around the house. He's not wheezing or gasping for air, but even his voice is a little faint. He sounds better today than he did on yesterday. I know there is no expiration date on him or any of you but I am just not prepared for anything fatal right now. I am a Christian an i am praying while knowing that God's will must be done, but my father is the best father any girl could ever ask for. I am an only child and it is so difficult watching a once vibrant man have to be reduced to calculating every move of the day to best conserve his energy. I rationalize his bad week by blaming it on the weather change but he swears he hasn't really been out in the cold but he has been in and out this week picking up my children from school. In 2014 my dad had been hospitalized and intubated a total of 3 times in a 5 time hospital stay. We were very afraid but that is when we found out he had COPD. My father ADORES my children and they are his father figure because I am divorced from their father and my dad has been there for us ever step of the way....as well as my mother. I feel alone because I am an only child and though I have my mother.....he's my dad and what a blessing he is in my life. I am just afraid and feeling sad. I know we all will leave this earth but is it selfish of me to pray that my dad can stay here with us longer? He's not in pain or gasping (yet) I just need prayers and more time. Sorry for the long post.....I am venting.
mchughirene
mchughirene
Sorry your Dad is not doing well at this time....it is not selfish to not want to let go of a loved one.....and venting is ok we all do it out of frustration....this disease has us having good days and bad days....the longer we live with it the bad days seem to be more frequent than the good days...pray for him to have better easy breathing days...
DifferentLife
DifferentLife
Thank you for your en encouragement and kind worse! I will take your advice!
gwapo
gwapo
So sorry to hear about dad, you and the rest of the family and i would not even consider it as venting......it is letting out your emotions and the best thing for you is to have a few support groups, that can help you understand what is going on....

People like us with this disease have lost just about everything that we once considered ''normal''...like not thinking about just taking a shower, walking down to the mail box or a walk up the street....without getting out of breath, the constant ''what if's'' and above all, being a perceived or real burden to our loved ones or friends......anxiety and depression become our companions and it is this that we need to try and address.

I have PM'd you, maybe some ideas for you for the mean time.
Take care and hope dad gets feeling a bit better..

Hugs Peter
CaitsMom
CaitsMom
It is OK to grieve, love.
redvelvetcake
redvelvetcake
I'm so sorry you're going though this. I am also a daughter with a dad that had stage 4 COPD. It is and can be very scary with ask the what ifs and what happens and should I worry about xyz. It is sad and hard to watch, but I must say it sounds like you are doing all you can to spend quality time with him and that is really all that matters. My dad was intubated twice last year and over of those times was for a long time, but he got to finally come home. New wet just visit when he's doing good and wants visitors...and have a meal or coffee with him and watch bad tv and talk. Mostly laugh.

My dad has bad days and weeks where he pre emptively goes to the hospital and we now call it a tune up. It helps with the stress to categorize the visits and the bad weeks. I think it helps him cope as well.

Hugs to you and your dad. If you ever want to talk you can message me on here.
bjrapp2020
bjrapp2020
Sorry about your dad. I had just made a comment on RedVelvet's post about her dad. Both daughters are stressed and worried and have the right to be. But good days and bad days goes with the territory , sadly, and none of us want to lose a special loved one like a dad or mom. Just make sure he is getting the care he needs, he may need to stay out of the cold air and wind, it is advised , unless your mouth is covered to prevent the cold air getting to your lungs. You might consider if going out in bad weather is doing this to him, and need to make other arrangments. Weather can affect us more if we are out in it, but even if we stay inside it seems to affect us some. No, it is not wrong to wish your Dad could stay here longer, but while he is here make sure he is getting proper care, going to Dr. appointments, taking meds or inhalers correctly if he has them. Sending you hugs and prayers...