A little off topic but proves a point.

I am now since June 9th, still living, walking proof that extreme stress and anxiety are very bad for out breathing problems.

June 9th - admitted to hospital with agonizing back pain. Thought I had a kidney infection. Not so simple - had a good sized kidney stone stuck right at the opening to the urethera. Had to do surgery to get it out cause infection was backing up in the kidney. They did 3 separate surgeries. Evidently difficult to do surgery on folks on level 6 oxygen. 2nd one put me in ICU for 8 days - thank god 3rd one got the problem completed. Gave me too much pain med (morphine) at first - found out I'm allergic too morphine - switched to dialudid and drove my o2 counts down to 60. Got that fixed and went to oxycodone which did not try to kill me.

Got out of hospital and 10 days later husband had a heart attack. Kept him in the hospital for first 10 days just to get fluid out of his lungs (he's diabetic and has sleep apnea and congestive heart failure but I think they may have alleviated the sleep apnea. Surgery went well but he was not responding afterward in a normal way. He could not stay awake long enough to talk, eat or anything. Of course at the end of the Medicare mandated hospital stay, they released him to a nursing and rehab facility at the end of 30 days. The situation got worse and at one time I didn't think he was going to make it. In 5 days, he went back to the hospital still sleeping all the time and unable to get on his feet for more than 2 steps with a person on each side and then couldn't breathe by the time they heaved him back in bed. Thank god his cardiologist consulted with some others and "does anyone out there know that there is actually a pill for sleep apnea. My spouse cannot tolerate every mask they tried on him and they went through them all at the hospital. So they put him on this drug called "nuvigil" and within 24 hours he couldn't sleep longer than 3 hours a day so they cut it in half. By this time I had been at the hospital for 35 days and at rehalf for 5 days. That is now 10 days. Some days I forgot which way to turn when I reached my first point. He went back to rehab a totally different person. He is now responding to therapy - eating everything put in front of him and today graduated to using a walker and being able to walk to the bathroom instead of a potty chair by his bed and I am looking forward to getting him home.

Meanwhile, I lost my very best friend to a 2nd stroke and although she is still alive her essence is not there anymore. I haven't had a chance to even go visit since all this other stuff happened right after her stroke.

And then there is me who simply to keep from going nuts have returned to smoking and living on Xanax and Effexor.

I would prefer to forget the summer of 2014 but it's going to be with us for a while. None of his drugs when he gets out are going to be the kind I can get from overseas. Insulin is not available and it's Medicare price is $400.00 per month. I'm sure the new sleep apnea med will be tremendous. While he's been in these facilities it hasn't counted against our part D drug program but as soon as he's out, he's already over halfway to the donut hole. At least my kidney stone is gone and not likely to come back - his will be forever so I have that stress to worry over. This is one of those times when I would like to leave this world but my point here has been that Instead of being able to stay inside as I usually do in the hot humid weather I have been out 2 and 3 times a day in 91 - 93 humid weather and have spent a lot of time on steroid s and antibiotics to stave off an exacerbation that could put me in the hospital when what would my husband do for support?

If I don't get him home soon I'm not sure is my mind is going to hold up.
Thanks all of you for listening and maybe I'll get time to go a see my best friend one of these days in the nursing home. I talk to her brother all the time and he keeps explaining to her what's going on but she forgets every day. I'm not sure which is worse - my husbands physical illness or my best friend with her mind trapped inside her head. I think it's the latter now that the spouse is turning the corner and making good progress but I feel like a yo-yo.

I went back to smoking and