Compulsive lying Community Group

For individuals who lie because they cannot reveal their true selves to other people in their lives at the risk of being disliked. Are you a victim of this type of abuse??

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Mental Health
/ Compulsive lying Support Group

What is LYING??????

Greystoke
Greystoke

I have found that I have lied to try and get out of trouble, to make myself look better, to avoid confrontations and sometimes just because!  I have cheated on my first wife and destroyed that marriage and have lied to my second wife about my sexual addiction!  Even though I have been "sober" for over 6 years, I still find that I lie to avoid confrontation with my wife.  Anymore it is about the silliest or dumbest things!  I have started reading through these posts and have made it upto August of 2017!  I see that there are not many responses to posts and in general not much support we are giving each.  In today's world, it is so hard to be truthful at all times!  We feel that we should not be truthful when we are not having a good day or not feeling physically or emotionally healthy.  Society dictates we be socially acceptable and tell 'white lies.' How are we to overcome our problems about lying when it is so totally pervasive all around us!  While I feel I have become more truthful over the past few years; I still fall back into the old habits of lying.  Am I so insecure???  I feel better when I tell the truth in most occasions.  Though there have been times when I told the truth and I am still chastized for it!  Come on!!!  Is anyone out there????  Can we get a good roundtable discussion going?

Compulsive
Compulsive
I too lie for the same reasons; get out of trouble, avoid punishment, avoid judgment or being disliked, making myself seem better than I am, and even to strangers about the stupidest things that I have no reason to lie about. I closed my bank account to move my money to a credit union, but when the teller asked why I was closing my account, instead of telling the truthful reason, I told him I was moving to a small town out of state FOR NO REASON. I am absolutely compulsive, and it's constant. It has many, many times come back to bite me in the ass but sometimes people are too polite to call me out on my bullshit, so we awkwardly just know that I'm flat out lying. I am so ashamed of it, but regardless of how much I hate that I compulsively lie, I cannot for the life of me stop doing it. I'm starting to think I need to go to therapy or something.
jjbks
jjbks
Your story sounds so much like mine. My marriage is in shambles, my career in flux, and I feel alienated from most of my longtime friends. My lying has mostly been to my spouse. It isn’t much different than what you have stated. The lies are usually to make me look good or to avoid conflict. The lack of trust in our marriage has led it to be basically a sexless marriage. My spouse wants out and at the moment how can I blame her. I need to change regardless of what happens to my marriage. I feel guilty and ashamed most of the time anymore even when I am not lying.
Greystoke
Greystoke
Hi jjbks,

I know exactly how you feel. Guilt and shame have been such a large part of my life. I have gone to therapy and developed a small network of friends, whom I trust, who have helped me begin the process of rebuilding my self esteem. Learning to love yourself is really the key. Understanding that you will have ups and downs, good days and bad helps!

Now with your marriage, I suggest sitting down with your spouse and be frank with them about your lying addiction and how you want to overcome this. Ask for their help! Be yourself, even when you do not want to be!
jjbks
jjbks
We have sat down. I think it might be to little to late for my marriage. At this moment, she does not want to be involved. I hope by her seeing me take these positive steps that I can at least salvage any kind of friendship with her. We still have children to raise.