Hey, I understand completely how you feel. I would definitely give therapy a try it might help you figure out the deeper reason of lying. I've just started this process but I'm practicing on thinking everything before I say it so I question myself to get the truth. If it is about fear someone very dear told me that even if you are afraid the truth will always be better than a lie and people around you will understand and value that at least you were honest. Hope it helps!

I lie when I feel pressured or on the spot and I do it knowing how much it effects my wife and it is ruining my marriage

Yup! I am in the same boat. I lie out of fear of a reaction. I always want people to think very highly of me and like me. I'm not sure why exactly yet. I also recognize that I cannot say no. People ask me to do things for work and I cannot say no to them. I have people now in my life that reach out about once a month to ask me to do something for them. I've always said yes even when I should say no.

I see myself in all of you! I always fear people's reactions and want people to believe in me. I have been in counseling for quite some time and sometimes have succeeded to being truthful but I often find myself falling back into lying. I still do not know why but continue to hope and to work to be better! I also have always had a hard time saying no to anyone. But I have begun to do so more often just because I do not have the time anymore or the physical stamina to keep that up!