Compulsive lying Community Group

For individuals who lie because they cannot reveal their true selves to other people in their lives at the risk of being disliked. Are you a victim of this type of abuse??

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Guerrero 02/13/2019

Hi everyone,

I am a lying piece of shit. I have destroyed relationships due to my lying. I got married once lying to myself and then lied during that marriage and cheated. I am no longer married, one of the affairs turned into love and I fell in love with someone that I TRULY love. We had a baby together, my first baby. She's two now, and she is the joy in my world. However, I continue to lied even in this relationship, it has been 3 years, since I divorced my ex-wife and since then I committed to my daughter's mother. I have recently made some realizations with the help of my daughter's mother. First and foremost that I actually have a problem, second I need help, third I really love my daughter and I really love her mother and I will do anythig I need to do to get them back, but most importantly I need to do this for myself, because I do not want to live like this anymore. I always feel horrible about myself, I don't love myself, I am not happy, I never feel worthy of the good things that come my way. I have, or should I say possibly had a beautiful family that loved me and adored me and I destroyed their hearts with my lying. I am self-sabotoging, self-destructive, and I want to be a man that those girls deserve. I need help and I could not find an in-person support group in my area so I found this online. Thank you.

anabels 02/13/2019

First of all, you are not a lying piece of shit. I know you lied, and I am sure you must feel this way, but you accepted that it was wrong and you are reaching out for help. It's good you reached out to a healthy source. Having had a life altered by your lies is challenging, because on one hand, you did it to yourself, but on the other, you can't really control it. Gaining trust back takes baby steps. You cannot think that your ex-wife and daughters will just take you back open-armed, with love in their hearts for you. Sure they love you, and sure they WANT to believe in you, but there is a lot of built up pain that you have caused them, that makes them feel weary, and rightfully so. The best thing you can do for yourself is every time you think of lying, think of their faces. Think of how it will impact them, if you can't do it for yourself.
Hope this helps. All is well.

Guerrero 02/14/2019

Thank you I appreciate the kind words. So to clear things up, my ex-wife is not the one I am trying to go back with. Here's the quick story, I married a woman about 6 years ago that I loved, but was not in love with. I was lying to myself when I was with her and she also needed documents in this country. Her dream was one day to go to an American University. So I married her making it seem that I was in love with her. She was not hard to care for/love, because she is such a nice person, but I did not love her like a husband should. Therefore, I ended up cheating on her multiple times and breaking her heart and finally divorcing her when I knew she would be ok and she had her documents so she can have a life in this country, currently she attends The University of Akron and is studying to become a Chemical Engineer.

So one of my mistresses I ended up falling in love with, the only reason my ex-wife ever found out I was cheating. I have been divorced now 3 years ever since I fell in love with the "other woman". I had a baby with this other woman. However, for three years I was lying to the other woman as well. She helped me realize that I have a problem. I have been with her for over 3 years and she is ready to leave me. I love her and our little family that we have together and I would do anything to get them back. Recently, I have made some dramatic steps in changing, one of which was calling my ex-wife and telling her all the times i was unfaithful. I have made a pledge to myself that I am not lying anymore no matter how afraid I feel of the outcome. Most of all I want to be the person that I want to be and not this fake arrogant insecure a-hole that tries to impress others. I want to be me, who deeply cares about people and their well-being, a person that would give their own shirt off their back to make sure someone stays warm.

I have scheduled to see a psychologist as well and Lisa (other woman) and I are going to couples counseling also. I love Lisa and our family and I want to learn to love myself so I can feel like I deserve someone like Lisa and a loving family that loves me and most importantly they can have someone amazing that they deserve.

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