Coming Out Support Group

This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men and lesbian women face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.

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Bcarner 02/02/2018

Hi guys. I'm new to this site, I'm 20 yrs old and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend going on nearly five years now. He's helped me through a lot over the years with depression and my anxiety since the day I met him, but he has a tendency to "wonder" and break my heart since the every beginning. Recently, I landed a great job five minutes from our place and I have a box holder who comes in every other day to check her mail box right.. well I find this woman drop dead gorgeous and every time she comes in I can't even make eye contact with her because she makes me so nervous. That NEVER happens to me, I'm that type of person who is always straight forward and will say whatever's on my mind but with her I cant even tell her "have a nice day" after she receives her mail. I have always looked at girls differently than the way my friends do. I find women so amazing, strong and just ugghh. I have never really actually tried anything with another girl. But at this point in time, I'm worried that if I don't make a move and try "new things" then I will be stuck on this path with my boyfriend and will regret not experiencing what I could have later on in life. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

WyndWytch 02/05/2018

First sorry you went with silence for so long. I had a busy weekend so didn't get to look around at posts as often as normal. So there's a couple things to consider. One is, will your boyfriend be okay with you exploring being with another girl? Are you prepared to leave him for a fling if not? These are things you need to consider in your current situation. Not to mention that since you haven't talked to this woman, you don't know if she is attached, what her preference is or any other details. You have to get to know her before you can get her into bed. So think about it this way, as beautiful as she may be, be her friend, don't shoot for more right now. get to know her see if you can become friends. You also are 20. this means you have a good amount of life left and there is no real missing out on experiencing anything. Whether you have your first contact of that nature at 20 or 50, you still have it and fate will do as it will. So you need to decide if you want to keep what you have with your boyfriend or not, if you really don't want to be with him then exit the relationship and move on regardless of the person who will come along next. If you want to keep it then you either confide in him and see if he will let you explore it or not. If he wont, then you either have to leave him to do so or accept what you have with him as being worth not exploring that. So my advice is to sit down and talk to him about it.

Bcarner 02/05/2018

You have no idea how much I needed that response. I know I need to talk to him, I'm just scared I won't like what he has to say. Overall, it's unfair for me to keep this feeling hidden from him like this and it's best to just talk it out with him. Thank you for your reply.

WyndWytch 02/06/2018

You are very welcome. Just because you are bi curious at the very least does not mean you cant have a meaningful relationship with him. Talk to him, see what he has to say, give him a bit of time to think on it and see what happens. May turn out better than you think.

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