Coming Out Support Group

This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men and lesbian women face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.

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TieDyeBi 01/09/2018

(There's a story. Hold on...) I have a cutting problem that only shows up when I stress out. Lately I happen to be stressing about telling my parents that I'm bi, freaking out about their reactions, and trying to understand if I'm still accepted by God. So I started cutting and picking at the scabs and tried to tell myself that this was normal. So I googled psychology of cutting and the site gave my phone a virus. My mom found out what I was googling and why, and told her about being bi, my recent cutting, and my fear of eternity, and even though her reaction better than I thought, it still wasn't wonderful. 1) on being bi/eternity: "You're too influenced by your phone. I don't think you're ACTUALLY bi. Even if you are, I don't agree with you're lifestyle and I don't think Jesus does either. But i still love you." Great. Didn't Jesus walk with/die for sinners? I need Him to accept me and love me, and I know he does. But at the same time I feel like he doesn't. **no Jesus hate in the comments** 2) on cutting: " you have to decide when you need to go get help. When you think you need help I'll send you to a nice institution." I don't want to go anywhere, but at the same time I can't tell if I really help.

WyndWytch 01/10/2018

Okay, wow where to start. Okay I guess the first part is the whole religion and mom and bi thing. Your mom said 2 things that are not consistent. "I don't agree with it", "I still love you" she needs to make up her mind. Whether she agrees with it or not if she loves you she wants you happy and therefore she wouldn't care so long as that is true. If she is going to make things difficult cause she doesn't agree then she obviously doesn't love as deep as she lets on. I don't know your age but unless you have a same sex partner is not anything you need to worry about at this point with regards to her. I think with the religion aspect its the same thing. While I don't follow the same belief you do, I have read the bible a number of times and a number of versions. I have come to learn that what is actually in the book and the interpretations of those at podiums is VASTLY different. As a result you have this incongruence that you have. If god and jesus were these all loving people who did all this for peoples happiness why would they turn their back on you for being happy? Sadly though that is an element you will have to come to terms with and learn that they are not mutually exclusive to anyone but some people at a podium... the pope even said to back off those in the LGBT grouping and to leave them alone... The pope of all people. I think he trumps your mom on the whole knowing gods will and opinion thing. In the end you will have to understand that both are fine.

To the cutting, again your mom has a really REALLY jacked up view of mental health, you don't have to be SENT anywhere, you can go to a therapist and have it dealt with just as easily and in fact its quite likely an institution wouldn't even admit you because you aren't a serious hazard to yourself or anyone around you. Should you go see a therapist, probably, do you need to be institutionalized, not in the largest stretches of the imagination. The cutting in any form is being used as a mechanism to cope with something that you are having difficulty with. That means you need help, advice, something. at the least a healthier way to deal with the coping part. So look into therapists. it will be an hour weekly or biweekly and likely there is one close by. You need to like yourself and the other elements will come together. your mom just lacks any form of exposure and world views outside of her little bubble and that will come with time.

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