Ever since my grandfather's death 9 years ago my mother has never been the same. She was once a strong, vibrant, optimistic woman but she became depressed and emotionally withdrawn from everyone. She became this fragile woman who cries at the drop of a hat. We encouraged her to seek counseling which she did but she was mostly prescribed antidepressents and didnt feel it was helpful. 

My relationship with mom has always been sort of strange. While she always yearned to be close to me I never felt I could be open and honest with her because I viewed her as very conservative and "old school". But that seemed to changed when I had my son at age 22. She was suprisingly supportive and a very hands on grandmother. About 4 years ago my son's father and I broke up. I know my mother would of liked for us to remain together for my son's sake but neither of us were happy and he was no longer in love. After my break up I began to date a woman. I had never dated a woman before but was drawn to this person and didnt see gender. I just knew this person made me happy. When my mother found out I was dating a woman she was very upset and unaccepting of the relationship. Our relationship took a drastic turn for the worse. She didnt disown me but made it clear she didnt want to know about that part of my life. She expressed feeling shame, embarrassment and hurt. Because there is such a big part of my life I cant share with her I do hold resentment. My mother is often condesending, sarcastic and cynical when she speaks to me but because I value her I still call everyday and visit her every week and try to deal with my emotions. 

Her relationship with my siblings has also gotten worse. It seems as if she feels everyone has dissapointed her in some way for example my brother is married and doesnt come around as much even though they live close by (this is a result of the way she speaks to him and makes him feel). My teenage brother is withdrawn and closed off from her as well because he is tired of seeing her cry for no reason or complain about everyone else. I think its hardand draining for them to listen to her always talk about negative things and how horrible her life is. They think I'm crazy for having so much contact with her and letting her affect me emotionally. I honestly dont know what to do or how to improve my relationship with her. I recently got engaged and cant bring myself to tell her because I know this will trigger her depression and she will sayvery hurtful things. I am happy, I am with someone who loves and cares for me and my son but all that means nothing to her because this person isnt a male. If anyone can offer any insight or advice. I would greatly appreciate it.