hello there and welcome. Glad to hear that you have someone to enjoy time with currently. It is important to have those you can be yourself with. I am not really sure what to really say outside of that. The age thing isn't always a problem when it comes to relationships of any kind, but sometimes it can be in relation to things you mentioned like one wants a family and so on. The career aspect is also a consideration. For now however, you can enjoy the company you have and build some great memories. During this time, you might see what is out there to help you in widening your associations. See if there are any social groups or the like in the local area, venues that cater to LGBT communities, so on. If you have reservations about the in person contact (since you mentioned you aren't out to any family or friends) there is also the internet. There is a variety of systems on the internet that would allow you to make friends and interact with people from all over who are in the LGBT umbrella and would give you an outlet to be you without the more local risk. I grew up around the same time you did and in the rural setting, everyone having their nose in everyone elses' business. It's really hard to get past all the things you have seen with regards to how people were treated for being LGBT back then. That said, times and people have changed a lot. You might be surprised at how many people in that rural setting were hiding just as you were. Now, its a bit easier to get by and be visible so try not to be to discouraged if and when the person you mentioned in here has to move on to other things in life. There is a lot out there for you as well whether you are out or not. Just remember while it may feel like you're alone, you're not. You just haven't found the others yet, but they are out there.

Hey Wytch,
Thanks for responding. Wasn't sure anyone would actually. Yes, I am trying to enjoy what little time I seem to have left with my friend. I must say, I am really not seeing much in the way of gay social groups here in NJ to be honest. And with COVID, I'm sure not much is going on anyway.

I would like to come out, but I just don't see it going well with the gaggle of people I know :( I'm aware of the saying that if my friends don't accept me, then they were not truly my friends in the first place.

My biggest issue is putting a societal label on my kids... like... hey, that's Joe - the one with the gay dad. I just don't want them to have to put up with any hurtful or uncomfortable comments and such.

So yea... that's part of it. Anyway, thanks for checking in and I hope we can continue chatting!!!

Yeah covid has been kinda a kick in the teeth for most things. I've known a few people in NJ over the years, so I do know quite a few different things that are a bit difficult to dig up. Not sure if this will help you but https://www.pridecenter.org/support-groups

Not sure if it will help or not. The thing about covid with regards to support groups is that most of the in person ones have turned to things like zoom, which in a way might be better for you. Often there can be less concern if all someone gets is a voice and you dont always have to use a camera. I went to a group quite regularly at one point and the first time i showed up i was scared as hell, so it might make that a bit less.

As to the friends and the labels, I mean you know your friends better than I would, so then the question is, will they legit be against it or is that our brains doing what our brains do best, Make us wary of danger and not venture into it. I have friends who dont really accept how i am, or things i have done to the ends i am at. We just simply dont talk about it really. When we do the state their side, i state mine and that is about all that goes on really. Its not easy but i think in the end its about respect, your life, their life, so on. With the labels, Obviously word gets a round. If you are well known then its going to go around and people are going to know. On the other side, general people arent well known by and large so most people just really dont care. It doesnt concern them. So the biggest thing is, would your kids be okay with it? In the end if someone did say something they simply say yeah and your point? Being Gay, Bi or Lesbian has become almost a non thing in a lot of places in the USA and generally most poeple who make snide remarks do so behind others backs. Will it happen, sure probably there are always Jerks, but it isnt like when we were kids and someone got found out as gay and they may as well have had some weird alien disease. Course there is also nothing saying you really have to come out. Unless you are choosing to show it publicly in general no one is going to really know right? Unless you are holding hands or kissing or something in public, most people simply see two people hanging around. Guess what i am saying is, there is actually quite a bit more freedom than is normally thought.

Thanks for the link! Appreciate the comments so very much. TY!

any time, Hopefully it leads you to something beneficial for you.

hi my name is carl i havent came out yet but would love to talk and see what and where it goes I am from Tennessee

Hello cloud, like you I was married and had children but one day the switch was turned on and I way myself. GAY. Feel free to reach out anytime.