I have lived my life as a straight woman my whole life. Dated many men, and finally met my husband in 2010. We have been together almost 9 years and have 4 beautiful kids. I was madly in love with him for the first 7 years or so. But somewhere along the way, I lost my way. My dad passed away and it was a huge life changing experience, as I took care of him and was very close to him. I feel like I fell into some kind of depression that not even I was aware of. So for the past 2 years I have been in this denial. Some days I say I'm ok, nothing is wrong and other days I know there is something wrong. I feel stuck. Well, 2 years ago I was introduced to my husband's new (female best friend). She is a lesbian, and in a relationship. She and her partner are nice people, they had gotten very involved in our lives and in our children's lives. Well, for the first year knowing her, my husband and her were very close, did allot together ( completely friendly). And about a year ago, I began working with her. And that is how pur friendship grew.  I saw her allot, worked with her and for to understand why my husband liked her. She's an amazing person. She has her issues and we bonded through our past experiences and she had gone through what I was currently experiencing. She was a very good friend when i most needed it. But somewhere along the way I began to have feelings for her. I started seeing her differently, I was attracted to her. I wasn't in the beginning, so I don't know how this happened. But now she has grew apart from my husband and now we are best friends. She knows how i feel about her and she feels the same way but we are both in long term commited relationships. We always tell each other how we wish we would have met each other first  , before we met our spouses. But we live 2 different lives. But secretly in live with each other. She makes me so happy. Wondering if this is just a phase or could she really maybe have been my soulmate.