Coming Out Support Group
This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men and lesbian women face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.
First, i'm not out yet, i've never dated anyone, and i'm really scared that maybe what i feel is a fluke or just like a stage i'm going though and that i'll come out and regret it later. But this is not what i want advice about....i have a friend, we've been friends since birth,and she says mean thinks about lgtb people all the time. Someone asked her if her son was gay what would she do and she said she would beat the gay out of him???? i was like wtf.....i'm really scared she won't want to be friends or she'll say mean things thinking that its alright to say if i come out HELP :(
For your sexual orientation, I don't believe it matters what experience you have. It doesn't matter what you're most comfortable with. Twenty years from now, do you want to be with a man or a woman? I know you say that you don't want advice about that, but it's quite crucial for STAGE 2 of Op Coming Out.
Now that you've affirmed your sexual identity, DO you desire to come out to said friend? The way you write this makes her sound like a close minded bigot of homophobia. If y'all have really been BFFs since the beginning, you should be able to have a mature conversation. It boils down to you asking her to accept you for who you are and respect you.
It really depends on how much you value this friendship and trust the individual. If I were you, then, yes, I'd tell her. But in a controlled, serious enviroment. One-on-one, face-to-face.
I had a really similar situation when I came out to one of my best friends. What I realized during my coming out process is that: Sometimes people just don't know any better.
Most people don't know someone part of the LGBT community. I didn't before I started coming out. Your friend is probably joking about it because she's heard it somewhere else, the media, or her parents have made comments about it.
I say give her a chance. Some people have to know someone who is gay in order for their opinions about the LGBT community to change. You say that she knows you well, and that you're BFFs, she should be there for you.
She will probably be shocked, because she thought she knew you so well. So, give her time with that. But, if she has a bad opinion of gay people, change it! Be the one person in her mind that stands out when she thinks of gay marriage.
I had a super similar situation. My friend first talked about how she believed everything the bible said. She was closed minded at first. Then, she realized that I was such a good person. And that I was still the same best friend she knew all along.
My advice is to tell your friend when you're ready. You said that you're not sure yet. Take your time. If you eventually tell her you are confused or are gay and she distances herself or does something bad to you, you deserve better anyways.