I can't say mine is all that interesting. My coming out was slightly more invasive in that I was coming out as transgendered, though I guess you could also call be bi. In anycase, I hid my whole life, I was bullied from kindergarten on, beaten up on a regular basis, picked on by siblings, basically if I was somewhere there was always someone wanting to push me in the mud. As time went on, I became the evil beast they wanted, which was helpful because everyone was afraid of me at that point and mostly left me alone. Attempted suicide several times (unfortunately or I guess fortunately the few friends I had were very observant of my behavior) they seemed to always "know" when I was going to try and usually sent someone after me. The last one coming almost to late landed me in therapy, which I lied to hide my transgendered nature and got stabilized as far as the suicidal stuff. Continued living as the evil thing I had been made into and was seen by many as very dichotomous. I was either very good and protective, or bad and destructive. There was no in between. Anyhow, one day I hurt a close friend and decided to deal with my TG issue as I had been in and out of therapy for depression and such but never was willing to address it. I assumed they would try to "Fix" me. The first person I told was my mom. I trusted her to be okay with it. It went well enough, she was more confused as how I liked girls more over than that I was trans (the lesbian part) so that made it nice. from there I told people I knew online, lost some and kept some. Went through key people at my work to make sure I wouldn't lose my job and then in the course of 2 days, I told everyone I worked with and my whole family was made aware. It had been 2 years since I had told my mom. Needless to say she got lots of calls, those calls were relayed to me and so on. All in all it went okay, I lost some people (both family and friends) but I had resigned myself to the idea of losing far more, so I wasn't disappointed when I lost them, in fact I was thrilled that I fared as well as I did. I am still working on the transition (will be for a few more years) but the coming out by and large is done and that's about all there is to it. Again, sorry it isn't more interesting :P

I don't have a story yet as I'm thinking it will be dangerous to my physical well being to tell my dad.
I never told my mom but honestly I think she knew even though she never said a word.
Do you think it's necessary to "come out"?

me personally... no. What you do in your bedroom is up to you. If you don't live with your dad or mom and don't want to tell them, so be it. Just keep in mind it may make holidays complicated with your mate, assuming you visit them for holidays. There is no reason you HAVE to come out to anyone (unless you are trans, then it gets pretty obvious) so no I don't think you have to personally. For many though they want to be able to hold their lovers hand in public or share a peck now and again. In a way doing that in public is coming out, just not to anyone you know personally. If you are okay with 0 PDA's then it will be based solely on your comfort level.

I would think it would be necessary as in some kind of growth internally. I don't think coming out is for the benefit of any other person other than yourself. I view it more as a way to being true to yourself and not being ashamed of who you are. so the sideways glances, whispering and bullying stops. (if that is possible)

You are correct, it is for you, but it again is based on your comfort level. if you are one of those "no PDA's ever!" types then coming out to someone who will never see you and your mate in a setting where there would be any intimacy would simply be the persons call... Obviously holiday events with family and so on, it gets far more complicated. I do know some who just claim "roommates" to their family and handle it that way, but neither of them are ready to come out and they are comfortable with that division in live. Its all about comfort.

Wrong Body
When I was a kid I would look in the mirror and feel a sadness because what I saw did not reflect who I saw and felt myself as on the inside. I have two smaller brothers and I identified more with them. Was stronger than them as a kid, faster, and loved to play sports. I would be the only girl on the basketball court during recess and would be one of the greatest ballers. I was so good I would be chosen to be on a team faster than several boys. At that point basketball became almost an outlet a way to embrace who I was inside without full exposure.
I would often go to pee standing up, it wasnt an easy task but with enough practice like anything I somehow perfected it. I would have to make sure that the bathroom door was locked of course.
My home environment at age 8 was really rough, my biological dad had left abandoned the family when I was 3. My step-dad was really abusive emotionally and he would often beat us with a leather belt .I lived in constant fear of him. Already in fear and confusion so to speak I became increasingly lonely.
If I was asked what the worse day of my life was in which it really didnt have anything to do with any particular person, just me alone. I would say when I was playing outside one Saturday about 11 years old, probably playing basketball by the house, I was wearing white shorts. My step-dad said that I needed to go check myself in the bathroom as he gave this early giggle. I went to see why he would say such a thing and to my horror there was a big red spot in the back of my white shorts! My mother hadnt told me about getting a period and she was working at that moment. Just wept in the bathroom for I cant recall just how long. At the same time I was angry.
We werent raised in the church but the fear of God was placed upon us constantly. I asked God why he would torture me by making me a boy in my mind, my inside but a girl with girl parts on the outside. I was so alone and becomingly depressed. Who could I tell this too? No one.
It only got worse as puberty hit instead of being increasingly attracted to boys I was becoming increasingly attracted to girls. It just grew more and more intensifying. To the point that at school I could hardly even work with them or be around the ones I was attracted to.
This became worse as I went through middle school. Finally got on a basketball team which I loved so much, I was not only great at it but it comforted my harsh dilemma. I suppose my peers didnt know what I was interested in, but they knew I loved basketball so I suppose they settled me being a tom-boy. Which was a great relief. In middle school is when I first met this star basketball player, she not only had the same passion for the sport but she dressed like a male, had braids and openly expressed her attraction to females! I was such a coward, just so really scared instead of identifying with her I kept my distance, but on the inside I admired her so.
When I got to high school that is when my world really got complicated. It seemed everyone had a boyfriend and I needed to cover-up fast before the world knew I wanted to be a boy and I wanted to finally kiss a girl. Still to scared I just kept that hidden even though at times that secret could have easily been exposed. My first boyfriend asked me out and the same week I caught him making out with his ex on the track field. He had zero to none remorse. I was embarrassed, angry and rejected. So eventually I began to date this guy who was just really nice and lived nearby me, we became best friends. I decided that my test would be to sacrifice who I was inside to be who God wanted me to be. So I did my best to achieve the perfect picture of a family. We got married after high school and really had a long and difficult journey. We finally had two children and have been doing our best as anyone does in a marriage. I have dedicated myself to God and although I still am attracted to girls in some way or another, I have yet to explore that and have never kissed one. I dont intent to in this life. I adore my husband, I feel we are truly soul mates because I have confided this with him and he didnt feel ashamed like I had, instead he held me and said I was brave and he loved me unconditionally. I still have trouble understanding why I couldnt become a man, be my true self and be loved and embraced even protected by God. How could I sacrifice my salvation and my childrens to embrace or even consider exploring that part of me? And at the same time how is it that I am living a lie to protect myself from Gods wrath when I feel ultimately I have been living a lie? Not truly living at all in not exploring that truth and reality that was a part of me? Like DNA wrapped around inside of me, not of my choice just simply apart of who I am.
So I made my bed and I am happy with it, at the same time just trying to fully love myself.
So here it is
What I have been ashamed of, my deep dark secret
But God says that the truth can set you free

Now I write, I have three poetry books out and post my work at wfap.weebly.com check it out.Thanks for listening,

The key will be to love yourself for all your perfections and imperfections. There is no reason why you can't have all of it at the same time. Sex, Gender, Preference are all separate beasts. Sex is your body, gender is your mind, Preference is what you like. Only Preference is external. The other two are yours and yours alone. If you are happy with your husband and family life, then stick with it. There is no reason however that you cannot still live the other to a point. Women are allowed to wear mens clothing with no issues in public what so ever, you can have your hair short or long, choose not to wear makeup or do, you have so many choices open to you. You could also go see a gender therapist to help take the edge off so to speak. Just because you may be trans does not mean you have to transition, you just have to learn to accept that and be okay with it. Hopefully your.... "religious organization".. is open and accepting to LGBT, if not, and you go to one, then i would suggest finding another or stop going. A brick and mortar church is not required for your faith. If you are a good person and you don't hurt others, why should how you were born, how you think, or any other possible thing make any difference to your god or your church? It is okay to be who you are, it is okay to believe what you believe, it is okay to have a husband, it is okay to have a wife, it is okay to have kids, its okay to have a dog, cat, white picket fence, so on. You need to like you for you and see you for the person you are.... not the cards you were dealt.

o like that wynd...
You need to like you for you and see you for the person you are.... not the cards you were dealt.
truth there

heheh well it is a personal view i have had, being trans and going through similar things, I have learned that sure, i got dealt a crappy hand, but i like who i am. All my past both for good or bad made me who i am today and i like me. It seems to make the issue a hugely more bearable experience. long as it holds, i can handle it quite well.

Wynd, how long did it take you to accept yourself and like yourself?

well i was about 32 before i sat down and really got to know me, so I guess 32 years, but if you go from the time when i was shaken out of apathy with regards to my horridly self destructive behavior, probably till i was about 24. I knew how i was from being very very young, but back then all they did was "Fix" you which is almost worse than just killing me, so i kept it hidden, which in turn caused depression, anxiety, distrust, so on. I would do things that were dangerous just cause.. I mean didn't matter to me if i survived it :P some how i didn't manage to get hurt and at 24 i had a rather severe wake-up which stopped me doing that, but i still wasn't willing to face me. At 32 I had another one that forced my hand in a way. I had no choice but to deal with it as it was the direct cause of the one element of me i didn't like. Not going to lie. It's scary, we have all these things we do or are that we don't like, so we build all these pieces of armor to keep going and not let it get to us, when you have to take that off.... it's scary but Armor is heavy, so it ends up being much nicer without it.

what was the wake up call? pm if you need to

oh a dear friend was hurt because of my stupidity and wrecklessness in the first instance, in the second, the self hate just poisoned me and again I hurt someone I cared about. not physically, but emotionally