Coming Out Support Group
This community is dedicated to the challenges that gay men and lesbian women face, both between the partners in a relationship and from other influences (family, society, etc.). Find support and talk to others who may be facing the same challenges, and share your experience.
I was married for almost 20 years and it ended with us separating. We have 2 great children but my ex and I DON'T get along. I lost my sister last year and she was my best friend; I lost another friend not to death but just by her not wanting to be friends anymore.
The delimma: since these 2 tragedies, I have all of a sudden been attracted to 2 different women at different times. The first was not gay so I accepted it and thought it was just a fluke but now I find myself attracted to another woman whom I am completely crazy about. I think about her ALL the time. I know she is not gay either. What the heck am I suppose to do or is this my way of acting out my grief. Please help. I don't know how to feel or how to approach this woman or if I should approach another gay woman to see if I could possibly be attracted to a gay person.
I am so desparate to the point of wanting to die.
The delimma: since these 2 tragedies, I have all of a sudden been attracted to 2 different women at different times. The first was not gay so I accepted it and thought it was just a fluke but now I find myself attracted to another woman whom I am completely crazy about. I think about her ALL the time. I know she is not gay either. What the heck am I suppose to do or is this my way of acting out my grief. Please help. I don't know how to feel or how to approach this woman or if I should approach another gay woman to see if I could possibly be attracted to a gay person.
I am so desparate to the point of wanting to die.
First, I am so sorry for your losses.
It is very possible that your feelings of lost relationships are interfering with each other. It's possible they're not. I'd suggest speaking to a therapist or grief counselor to help you unravel these complex emotions.
It is a pratfall to pursue heterosexual individuals, it's setting yourself up for heartbrake. But if you find yourself attracted to women, try not to fear it. Human sexuality is not a switch set to gay or straight, but a varied and broad spectrum.
So maybe you are a bit bicurious, that is perfectly fine. However I don't recommend acting on these feelings until you've begun working with someone on your emotions regarding loss and relationships
I just encourage you to keep a positive attitude. There is a world of people willing To love you in different capacities. Try not to focus on what you may have lost, but what you stand to gain.
All the best,
Steve